The Blow of Faith

This week is my first week in my new position in full time ministry. Though my plan has not gone  quite how I wanted I can say this move has granted me peace despite the pay cut. But what really got me was a conversation that the Holy Spirit brought to me that the enemy was trying to use to blow my faith. Yes readers this blog entry has a two part meaning because that's just how Daddy works. He works in parts and process and this little lesson is both.

There is something about growth that causes you to get to a place were you want  and need to express the doubts of your heart while exposing the the weaknesses of your faith and this is one of those moments. After saying YES to GOD one always wonders what that YES truly means. Does it mean the Matthew 6:33 Yes which states "I will seek first the kingdom of GOD and all his righteousness."? Or maybe it's the Proverbs 3:5-6 "Leaning not to your own understand, acknowledge him and he will direct your path." Or last maybe Phil 4:6 "Be anxious for nothing but through prayer and thanksgiving make your request know." Can I tell you it's all of that. A Yes to Daddy is the blowing of your faith. It will have you seeking the kingdom while your bill collectors are calling you talking about law suites. It will give you peace when you do not know when and were you will get the money to pay your rent, but you know that your Daddy is covering you so you give thanks any how. It is leaning not on your own understand and asking the Holy Spirit to guide you because clearly you are not aware of where you are going. That's what a  Blow of a Faithful YES looks like .It will cause your faith to blow in  directions beyond your strength and ask yourself "Why didn't I do this sooner.?"

But in that same moment of revelation, we can find ourselves  having our faith blowing by thoughts of negativity. Thoughts that make us question is this really GOD lead or self want. GOD was I suppose to go into ministry full time? Was I suppose to be doing this, that, or the other? Yep, that great yes can make the enemy place thoughts in your head that could blow your faith. But aren't you glad that our Daddy is stronger? Because just when the enemy feels like he has us in a place where our faith will be blown into pieces, GOD reminds us  that we have purpose, that we are destine to GREATER works, that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and He has not forgotten about us. WHAT A GREAT DADDY!!!

So today no matter what part of the process you are in.... The part where you just gave your best YES or the part where you wondering why you said YES in the first place, know that DADDY is about to blow your faith. The winds of the enemy has nothing on DADDY. It may feel that enemy's winds are stronger, faster, heavy, and destructive, but let me give you the heads ups, it's just smoke and mirrors, in other words do not get caught in the illusion.

Prayer: Daddy today I blow my faith towards you no matter the cost. I realize that the enemy has tactics that can make my YES to you feel like a doubtful move of waiving faith, but it really just a trick to get me off the promises of the YES and AMEN that you spoke into my life before I was formed in my mother's womb. So today Daddy I repent. I repent  for allowing the illusions of Satan's tactics to get me in a place where I doubted your guidance, provision, process, love, and grace. I repent for not seeking Your kingdom first while you take care of my needs. Thank you Daddy for another chance to get my faith blown in the direction of Your will for my life. I thank you on this day I realize that this is a process and I am willing to go all the way because you will guide my every step with your light. In Jesus Name AMEN!

Healthy Marriage

I love the Song of Solomon it is the most romantic book I have read in my life. To know the heart of a husband from courtship to engagement to the result of marriage. How he describes his bride and how she describes him. How they describe their love for one another and how she is so desperate to be in his presence. Not only is this book about a man and woman but can truly relate to how desperate we should be to be in the presence of GOD. 

Song of Soloman 1:15-16

HE

15 Behold, you are beautiful, my love;
    behold, you are beautiful;
    your eyes are doves.

She

¹⁶ Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful.

‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ your personal love songs always make me smile. Thank you for taking the time to write the lyrics of your heart.

‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ thank you for your support as I get my degrees. I know you are tired of graduations but I got to get this last 1.

‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ I'm always willing to say yes all you have to do is ask.‪#‎helpmatelanguage‬


‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ if you need to remember what love is always look at our marriage. God love us enough to put us together. ‪#‎tailormade‬

‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ I love our secret codes, jokes, and language it makes it feel like we have our own world. ‪#‎theyarenotallowed‬

‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ thank you for always taking time to pursue me like we just met yesterday. It feels good to be your new gf/wife everyday.

‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ after 20 plus years of marriage I want to always have newlywed moments.. ‪#‎yourememberthattime‬

‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ I hope every morning you see my text messages you know how grateful I am for you being in my life and the honor I feel in carrying your last name.

The Idea

I love the verse in the Bible that talks about the heart of marriage through two lives becoming one. I realize though it looks good at the altar on your wedding day it can be difficult if you do not realize how the two really can become one. Always remember when praying for your future spouse pray for the wisdom to know that two will become one. Mark 10:6-9⁶ But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ⁷ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,[a] ⁸ and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. ⁹ What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ there will never be a time where your presence doesn't make me feel safe and secure. Why you ask? Because you carry the heart of my father. ‪#‎youarejustrrightforme‬


‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ because you sowed a seed of sacrifice everything you create your hands to do will produce fruit. ‪#‎winningcouple‬

‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ when I'm feeling like the D. U. F. F. With my friends you always remind me that I'm beautiful. ‪#‎thanksforvaluelessons‬

‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ My world may seem chaotic and full of other people's opinions but no matter what They say you always speak life.

‪#‎DearFutureHusband‬ please don't complain how I pack when I need options to make sure I look fine for you. ‪#‎carrythesebagssir‬

We Will Be

So for the past couple of days I have been doing #DearFutureHusband tweets and post on Facebook. They were motivated when I was riding in the car praying for my future husband and I remember asking GOD is my future husband praying for me like I am for him. So I decided to come on here and share my post and tweets to motive someone that is seeking to be found by their husband and looking for their wife. I  know this world is full of chaos, but the Bible says that Jesus came that we may have life and life more abundantly. (John10:10)



Dear Future Husband: I want to pray for you until I feel you praying for me.‪#‎relationshipgoal‬

The Reality is....

This post is going to be really different because it will be comprise of several things (Dear Future Husband, Transparency, and Daddy Daughter Conversation) For the last three months I have really been in the position of student and learning. About six months ago I ask GOD to start preparing me and surrounding me with the things that a wife would have to face, because I was the position where I really desire the Man of GOD I was designed for. In that prayer I had the opportunity to experience "Wife Lessons." Let me tell you Wife lessons are hard. I mean patience and the ability to hear has been the biggest lesson and teacher during each lesson. I am overwhelm with the revelations that Daddy has given me through every teaching moment. But the biggest lesson came when I found myself in battle in my sleep in my room at night. (Here is me being Transparent) I would find myself fight demotic spirits and one looked like someone I knew. I contact someone I trust that had the spiritual wisdom that I needed to help me understand what was going on. In our conversation she told me that I needed to record every encounter, ask Daddy about it, and realize the pattern of when the attacks happen. Before she could tell me more.. I got the revelation of the why, when, and how they happen. She then told me to explore the root of those areas and when I tell you it didn't take me long to reveal the root. The root came from suppressed insecurity, abandonment, rejection, and giving  my body away. Because every demotic attack was a man. I was overwhelm when I realize that what I thought I was over was really a suppressed moment exposed through these attacks. I did any and everything to make sure that I look like I had it all together, even it meant acting like certain things didn't happen, but the reality is.... What I don't deal with in the natural got exposed in the spiritual and it gave the enemy the permission to come in and do whatever he wanted to do with me. So with all that being said I had to ask Daddy to help me recall every moment that I felt abandon, rejected, given myself away, and let me not forget unforgiveness too which lead to my insecurity. Last night I had to go into my walk in closet and make it my altar calling out everything that the Holy Spirit brought to my mind. From being divorced to being in the position of feel like the only thing that I had to offer a man was my body. I was put on the surgical table to be cut on. I asked for a clean heart and blood transfusion along with freedom. I had to remember that I have freedom in Daddy and there is no chain too strong that can't be broke by him. It's amazing how suppressed things will find themselves exposed no matter how much you try to keep them in. Because I was able to be place on the altar of sacrifices I now have begun to feel the freedom that Daddy promises us. It's awesome but it's just a piece of what I can have and I plan on having in all areas of my life. (Dear  Future Husband)

Dear Future Husband:

I realize that every time I fuss at you for your short comings I am actually frustrated with my own suppressed emotions. The ones that I feel if I present them to you, you will see me in a light that is unpleasing to you. That you will no longer see your priceless jewel, but see broken pieces of colored glass. But after laying on Daddy's altar and presenting my body on his surgical table, he cut me open and replace my heart with his and gave me a blood transfusion that cause me to regain joy and my place in him. No longer am I upset at my short comes and no longer am I striving towards perfection but excellence. I apologize for all the times I made you feel less than a man. I apologize for making you feel like you failed me. Know that there is nothing in this world that you can do to fail me unless you stop listening to Daddy. You are my rock, you are the natural representation of GOD's love towards me. You are his heart in the flesh. Thank you for always being so patient and forgiving. I realize that this nothing new for you, that you were prepared for this very moment because Daddy told you it was coming. But that doesn't meant that I can't correct my actions. I thank you for being so great and open with me every step up the way. Today as Daddy has open my heart I expose my all to you. I realize that this should have been done before now, but you knew that I would come to you sooner than later with all of my brokenness healed. Thank you for being my heart beat when I didn't see how to love you beyond my flaws. Thank you for being the covering that you were destine to be for me. The tears that I cry right now are not of hurt and frustration any more, but gratitude and joy. I am totally grateful that you know the value of us and me. That my price in your heart never devalues but continues to gain value. I love you so much.

With a healed heart,

Your Priceless Jewel

Prayer: Daddy this was the most difficult revelation about me that I have ever had to face in a while. To know that I was in a place of bondage thinking I was free. Daddy thank you for a husband who can pray for my brokenness and not walk away as though there is not hope. Thank you for a man who sees beyond my flaws and see my freedom. Father right now I expose my flaws, heart, and mind to you. Find all the areas of insecurities in my life and cover them in the blood and destroying them with your love. For you said in your word that I fearfully and wonderfully made in you. Daddy expose every areas of doubt that I have suppressed just to fake joy. You said that I should be anxious for nothing. That you have taken on every burden that I may experience your everlasting joy. Jesus you said that you came that I can have life and life more abundantly and I accept the abundance of  life today. Daddy take away the areas of rejection that I have kept a secrete for you said in your word that your plans for my life are good and perfect. That you knew me before I was even a thought in my mother's womb. Daddy make me whole again. You said that you are my healer, that in you I can find rest and refuge. Daddy right now I ask that every broken area and piece of me be whole in you. Thank you that the blood of your son Jesus make me new in you and your grace covers me daily. Daddy thank you for being my father. For loving me in spite of. I thank you that you will never allow anything to harm me. I bind up every attack, assignment, and ambush of the enemy that is in the works, working, and thinking about manifesting in the name of Jesus and with his blood I send them all to the pit of hell. I thank you father that ever witch, war lock, demotic spirit, or imp is bound in the the name of Jesus and sent to the pit of hell and every opening, window, door, gateway, foot hold, crack, and cranny that the enemy is trying to come through has been sealed with the blood of JESUS and that the freedom of you has been released. Thank you Daddy for freedom and the healing of self inflicted wounds. Daddy I rest in your freedom, I speak your joy, I represent your glory and I thank you for your peace. In JESUS NAME AMEN  

Covering Off

Dear Future Husband:

There are times in my life where even when I need to be vulnerable I still end up being guarded. Not because I don't trust you with me, but because I don't want to be a burden to you when you already have the world, all your responsibilities, and our family on your shoulders. But today I realize something it's not my place to judge what you can and can't handle, nor is it my place to tell you what you need and don't need on your plate. So I apologize for taking GOD's authority and being out of line when it comes to your strength. You can handle any and ever thing when it comes to me, if you didn't GOD would have not place us together. He knew that there would be days that your wife would be so overwhelm with emotions. That though she is about to break on the inside she smiles on the outside and you would have the power and gift to not only identify that she was in a place that she needed to talk but you will have the ability to love her to a place of healing. You would truly take off the duties of all other responsibilities just to cater to the needs of being a covering for your wife.  Thank you. I forget that I have a partner that can handle all of me and all my emotional moments, that he will know what to say and how to say it before I could voice anything about it. Thank you for being patient with me. I forget that I am your rib and a piece of you. That you take time to talk to Daddy about me...how to deal with me... how to reveal the secrets of my heart even when I feel like my heart desires are to great and  big for me to even handle.  But today as I sat and talk with about how I was feeling a peace came over me. It was no ordinary peace. It was a peace of GOD's love and assurance and as you talk I heard the Holy Spirit say it's ok he can handle your heart that's who your Daddy put you with. I also heard him say that you are his missing piece he will never devalue who you are because it would be like him devaluing himself, so let go... cry if you need to, scream if you want to, but most importantly get it out so that when you leave his presence you will know the victory of your father and you will understand that your battle is already won. So today I say thank you!!! Thank for never changing your approach with me, for being patient with me, for allowing me to glow in the end, for allowing your love to cover me, for being selfless, for being you. Thank you for always encouraging me, and realizing that my attitude has nothing to do with you or your action, but the constant healing from past hurt. Thank you for being my covering, for allowing me to be totally naked in front of you, never seeing my vulnerability as weakness but as strength. 

With A grateful heart,

A covered wife

A Morning

Dear Future Husband:

If my heart could express what I was feeling today I think you would understand the unexplained emotions that I demonstrated on this morning. First let me apologize for taking my sealed and covered heart out on you. I forget that there is another part of me that I can talk to, be free with, and cry on. I forget that I am no longer this single woman seeking to be found by the one that GOD tailored made me for. I forget that you are my rock, you know things even before I express them, because you and the father have conversations about me daily. I forget that you know how I function. You know what is really wrong with me though I try to keep my mask in tack, you quickly slip it off and see my nakedness. I forget that you love me.. not the me that I reveal to you, but the me that I keep hidden. I forget that you know me! You know the heart of who I am.. You know that at night I cry because I can't meet the world's demands. That I want to save nations but struggle to save me. That there are times that I wish to be free but have created a bubble so big to protect me that I forgot to let you in or better yet pop it.. Future I forgot!!! I truly did!!! But I am so glad that in my outburst you took me tears and all.. and you held me. And as you held me, you spoke to the father about me. You spoke life to me, you spoke love into me, you declared and decreed things that I couldn't see. As I cried in your arms not knowing what to do today. You took on the light of the father, and shined on me. You became my strength and though your day was busy with appointments and meetings, You cancelled them all just to be with me. To comfort me.. Take care of me. You became my superhero though I told you I didn't need to be rescued. You became my all when I felt like I had nothing. You became everything I needed you to be and completed the assignment of the father to me. For this my heart screams thank you.. but my tears say I appreciate you. I never thought you could truly be my all in all in one breath, but you took on the assignment with a heart of GOD courage and said father give me strength, and he did that a more. Thank you for never allowing me to forget that you and I are one, and the purpose of our union is not about a person but a purpose.

With a heart of relief,

Your Grateful Wife

The Thought of Love

Dear Future Husband:

As I sit here thinking about you. I hear the Jill Scott song in my head.."Just Running Across My Mind." The lyrics that stick out to me that describes you are.... " I love seeing you walk into a room... across the room, out of the room... I just love what you do... Then I added my own lyrics...I love seeing you smile... I love that I motivate you... I love your passion... I love that you want to save the nations, but you are taking care of our family first. I love that you can be my personal superhero yet vulnerable enough to accept help.I am just in love with all of you.Totally grateful that you are willing to spend the rest of your life being in ministry with me.

Committed to You,

Your Pearl

The Perfect Covering

Dear Future Husband:
There are no words in the world that can express my thank you. Thank you for the many times you filled up my car because I forgot to put gas in it on the was home. Thank you for making sure that dinner was ready after a long night at the office, even though you had a long day. Thank you for holding me when my friend came to visit me those cramps can be a pain....LOL! Thank you  for holding my hand when I gave birth to our children and the midnight runs you made when I was craving crazy things. Thank you for making me laugh when all I wanted to do is cry, because my efforts to save the world today failed. Thank you for speaking life when things seem dead and making sure I remember the promises of GOD. Thank you for being a great father to our children, providing stability, love, laughter, and memories to our home. But most importantly thank you for praying over me and watching over me when I am sleep. There are times that I wake up and it seems that your eyes are close, but then in a quite still voice I hear you praying for me. Asking the father to guide and cover me. I hear you thanking him for our marriage, family, and legacy. I hear you asking him to guide you in new way to love me and fall in love with me over and over again. It's during these moments that my heart becomes full and I realize how great of a covering you are to me. I try not to cry... But tears start to form in my eyes and I too begin to speak to Daddy about us. I start crying out for your heart, asking Daddy to guide you to the next level in him in peace, while restoring your joy. I ask Daddy to heal all the broken pieces that you never speak of. That he pours out vision and goals beyond your hearts desire and that he guide you to love me and how I should love you in all areas of our marriage. Future  your covering means more to me next to GOD himself. Without you I feel so incomplete, but with you I am covered. You are the heart of GOD for me and to me in flesh. For than I am grateful.
With A Heart of Yes,
Your Heartbeat

The Gift

Dear Future Husband:

There are times that I look at you and I  can't believe you are mines and I'm yours.  Your ability to make me feel valuable in the most valueless times gives me life.  There is nothing that I  can dream that you don't support.  Nothing I do that you don't prepare to be at.  Thank you for making your schedule flexible for me. The honor to wake in your presence daily reminds me of the Yes and Amen of God for my life.

In Awe of You,

Your Wife

Proud

Dear Future Husband:

You know the saying behind every great man is a great woman? I don't believe that. I believe that beside every great man is a woman willing to help him with life's challenges, protect him when he is frustrated, speak life to him when he is feeling useless, and be what he needs when he feels the world is against him. I believe together they become great and their marriage blooms into a beautiful example of love. Now society thinks that this a myth, especially in the black community, but I think we can prove them wrong and make it a fact.

Fist up, fro high,

Your Queen

Personal Chef

Dear Future Husband:

I will always remember our inside jokes even when I am mad at you! I realize one thing being your wife, we will never always agree on everything, but we can always agree to disagree. I never want to devalue your opinion just because it's different from mine. I want to learn from you and in that I want to grow with you, but most importantly I want to make sure we have fun doing it. So thank you for the laugh this morning even though I am still a little salty that you were right, please know that dinner will be on point when you get home.

Preparing a great meal for you,

Your Personal Chef

Ministry

Dear Future Husband:
Today I say Amen to agree with the yes and promises of God for our lives individually and collectively. For this life is not about us, but the assignments he has for us to do. Now the journey will not easy, but together we will learn Patience, Love, Peace, and most importantly the Joy of waiting on God. Today let's just rest in Daddy's yes and enjoy this journey together.

In love with you and my future with you,

Your Ministry

Superhero

Dear Future Husband :
I'm not just your wife... I'm your partner, teammate, cheerleader, prayer warrior, support system, encourager, lover, friend, and most Importantly Your Number One Fan!
Always remember I got your back and I multi task.

In love with all of you,

Your Personal Superhero

King

Dear Future Husband:
Loving me can be a task especially when my mind is completely made up about something. But your position as my king over throws my queen decision. Submitting to you is easy because you are selfishless in loving me. Thank you for loving me into great martial lessons.
Excited you are my King,

Your Queen

Sick

Dear Future Husband:
Even when I am sick I want to try my best to serve you, not prove a point, or show my strength, but to let you know that not even sickness can devalue the love I have for you... And if I am too sick to serve you know that there are no words in the this lifetime that can express my gratitude of thank you.

In Love With You,

Your Wife

In Love

Dear Future Husband:
Thank you for being a mind reader sometimes. Thank you for knowing when I say baby I got this one yet I am still looking like how is this going to work, you know that really means Baby HELP me, calm me, I need faith to get through this. Thank you that you understand Baby I got this simply means Baby I need you more than ever. That Baby I am about to cry cause this is too much for me to handle. Thank you that in this moments you don't let me fall on my face but you embrace me in your arms and whisper in my ear bae I got this, let me help you and with a deep breath every anxiety that I had is now gone. Thank you for hearing my heart over my words.

In love with you all over,

Your Wife

Gratitude

Dear Future Husband:
I am having a day but when I think about our future together, a day of frustration can't equal up to the lifetime of growth and special moments I will have with you. Thank you for allowing me to have my moment but most importantly thank you for being my lifetime.

With a heart of gratitude,
Your Wife

Rib

Dear Future Husband:
I'm made of many pieces, but the most important piece is the one that God created me from.... From you....I'm just your rib waiting to be place properly back into connection with you that our hearts may be on one accord.

Signed,
Your Rib