It Don't Take All That: I Don't Want To Pray

 Great Day Readers!!!

I am sure you are seeing the title of this blog and are truly puzzled since the blog is based on conversations with GOD and prayer is conversations with GOD. So, I want to explain myself and get to the thoughts behind the title. On yesterday before we started the recording of our podcast Jesus+Therapy, Sis (check us out on Spotify and Youtube, make sure to like, share, follow, subscribe, hit the bell, and leave a comment) I told my sister I had got a text from one of our friends about an event called "The Gathering." I looked at the website for the event saw several pastors and ministry leaders that I knew and I was like ok interesting. The friend was like you should be here sis. I told the friend that I did not see anything pulling me to come to the event. She was like you don't know who these people are, I was like yes. She went on to state how some of the speakers were Generals in prayer and how they influenced her life. I was ok. She was like you don't feel pulled sis 😲😲😲. I didn't respond. Because to be honest no I didn't feel pulled. I then made a statement to my sister before the recording " I don't want to pray"!

 I know what you are thinking and we did a whole podcast on my statement. Let me explain what I mean. There are people that are called to the place of intercession. They are passionate about interceding for others, praying, and going before the thorn to get all the heavens and experience GOD on so many levels.  Ya'll that ain't me. If I could be honest with you, my readers, I struggle to pray and this particular friend is a general in prayer. I mean she shifts atmospheres with her prayers, and she is passionate about that area. She even wrote a book about it and it is great. When I said, " I don't want to pray", I simply mean that I don't want to be so caught up in the experience of someone's ability to pray a certain way that I don't find my own way to talk to Daddy. I stated in the podcast that people pray from their prayer experience. Don't believe me, let's check the bible. Jesus prayed from the position of the savior, he was able to have an open and honest dialogue with Daddy about how he felt and what he was thinking. David prayed from a place of pay and wanting relief, which is why we see him being angry and then reminding himself that he has to focus on Daddy. The disciples prayed from a place of hope and intimacy because they had tangible encounters with GOD. The Children of Israel prayed from a place of promise and hope because they saw what GOD could do when they were obedient and sometimes even when they weren't. So many times when we pray, we become so intimidated by the experience of others that the spirit of comparison takes over we find ourselves not wanting to pray. 

It's not that I don't love to pray, I do, however, there are times were my prayers, because of my experiences and my desires to go to another level where I find myself in a place of intercession. However, my passion and positions in that prayer time are to really just have a little talk with Jesus. I don't want to find myself in a place of comparison with those that may have a deeper level of prayer, and feel the need to force myself to be there. To be that deep, to go through some experience that is really not mine to be able to be on their level. If I have to do what they do in order to GOD's attention I am like this, I don't want to pray.  

There are times in our lives as believers that we find ourselves in a position where we want GOD on another level, however, we want Him through our authentic experience. We don't want to feel like we have to work to talk to GOD or that we have to do what everyone else is doing. We want to work our part in the body of Christ and not be judged or ridiculed that we don't look like everyone else. I think this is why have people who were once saved saying they don't want to do this anymore and why we have a generation that is not desiring GOD like past generations. 

Can I be honest? We make everything about GOD in religion impossible. That's why I feel that body of Christ, Christians are always being judged and talked about. Between the rules of the various denominations and the attributes of what holiness looks like, it becomes overwhelming to want to connect with an untouchable GOD. It makes prayer a chore and not a conversation of intimacy and with the expectation of response. 

My prayer is that as you read this you realize that your prayer life is based on your personal experience with Christ and your relationship with Daddy. That you do not fall into the trap of comparison that it causes you to not want to pray or even respond in prayer when life creates situations beyond your understanding.

 

Prayer:  Daddy, help us to remember the principles of prayer and the goal to connect and communion with you. Helps us not to get caught up in another person's experience that we must our own personal experience with you. Helps to see prayer as an exciting time to communicate with you and not a chore because it's the job of what a believer is suppose to do. Help us not become intimidated by other's experience or feel judged by their prayer growth. Let become motivation for us to want to communion with you more. In Jesus Name! AMEN

That's It!

Great Day Readers!

 It's been a while since my last blog and can I tell you it had been a whirlwind of a year already. I mean three snowstorms in Alabama, yet along in the south is totally unheard of, along with tornados, and other crazy life changes. This week took that cake! This week I had to let my sorority sisters know that our sister had passed! UGH, THAT'S IT!!! If being single and waiting wasn't enough, I am now having to deal with life-changing things on my own. I don't know about you, but I got a "THAT'S IT" in my spirit. I have been approached by so many men who are seeking marriage, however, are emotionally unavailable and truly just using their gift of gab. THAT'S IT!!!

Now, the spirit of "THAT'S IT" is strong. It creates a heart of discouragement, frustration, and sometimes disappointment. It makes you think that what you desire seems impossible (Though we know nothing is impossible with GOD. Mathew 19:26) This spirit had me so over everything that I did not know what to do. I had a come to Jesus meeting with Jesus about the situation and the emotions I had about this "THAT'S IT spirit. I am sure I am not by myself. Waiting for some things to manifest, serving GOD as much as you can, in excellence, while still trying to keep your flesh in check. Oh, don't forget about listening to married church people talking about if you just work and focus on GOD he will come. Ma'am, sir, HOW!?!? I can't work, when I'm busy killing my flesh, trying to keep my emotions in tack, trying to be obedient, and still trying to "enjoy being single after being married." Oh, let's not forget having to explain to people that being divorced and single is different than never being married and single. When you have tasted the fruit of marriage you desire it again after you have healed from it.

 Can I be real? It's been 8 years since my divorce, and I am going into my fifth year of celibacy. I have no babies, and the thought of marriage is getting discouraging. Dating seems like it's more time-consuming than a process, and it seems like EVERYONE is getting the revelation of marriage and love but for me. Oh, don't even get me started about the fact that everything that I prayed for, screamed about at the altar, cried about in worship, and rolled on the floor about in my closet is happening for EVERYONE in my circle, BUT who, ME! These are some of the few topics I discussed with Jesus during our come to Jesus meeting. After I got done I heard the words from Proverbs 23:26 (TPT) "My son, give me your heart and embrace fully what I’m about to tell you". Where you see the word son, it was replaced with daughter for me. Can we break this scripture down so we can break this "THAT'S IT" spirit? Let's start with the first part of this verse, "My son, give me your heart". This first part broke me all the way down. Daddy literally asked me for something I should surrender daily. He asked me for the one place that captures everything about me. The place that I function from the most, and have been for a while...My heart. UGH. The reason this spirit has a hold on me is because my heart has conformed to the things of this world. The measurements of time, space, and energy, the very things GOD created and has complete control of. Let that sit. The place Daddy needs to start the deliverance process is the one thing we all struggle to surrender...our hearts. Let's go to the next part of the scripture, "embrace fully what I'm about to tell you". UGH!!!! Not only do I have to surrender my heart, I also have to sit still enough to hear what He has to tell me. Let me say that again, we have to sit still and hear what Daddy has to say. There is power in the stillness, even if it feels like there is no one there. This is the climax of my deliverance. This is where the spirit of "THAT'S IT" loses its grip on your life, and you grab hold of the joy of the Lord. Now, this is a process and it doesn't happen overnight. You must be in a place where you are patient with you and understand that the work that Daddy needs to do in you takes time. 

I am still in the process of my deliverance as I write this blog, however, I understand that in order for me to prepare, walk-in, and be the wife that I am called to be, I must go through the process and realize That's It!

Prayer: Daddy, we come to you right now thanking for the ability to realize when we have a "THAT'S IT" spirit. Help us surrender our hearts to you and to be still enough to hear your voice of instructions while taking them in not just for the moment, but for the lifetime. We understand that if we surrender us it will lead to the that's it in you. In Jesus's Name! AMEN

Happy New Year...Apply the Lesson

 

DDC Readers!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I know it's been a while and due to Corona my therapist calendar has been booked and continues to fill, as people start to realize that their mental health is not as healthy as they thought it was. Now can we have a moment of silence for 2020... Moment over!!! LOL Listen, if 2020 didn't teach you anything it should have taught you the value of time and people. The whole world shut down as we tried to wrap our heads around this virus and the destruction it was causing on a global level. Also, we have to be aware of the time that was produced during these shutdowns. (I didn't have that time as I worked as an at home essential work....a.k.a. "Therapy Life"). You know the time I am talking about. The time that we talked about during those busy workdays, traffic jams, and errand runs. You know the time we talked about when we said, " I wish I had time to do__________ (you fill in the blank). Not only did we see time become more of something that we gain in 2020; we also saw the loss of valuable people in our lives. 2020, gave us the manifestation of death like never before. When I was watching the news, I heard a report refer to the death toll of 2020 as the biblical 12 plagues that the Egyptians faced while keeping the Israelites hostage. I can kinda agree. It did feel like the death of all deaths.

However, there was something that I heard in my spirit the whole time of 2020 as we endured so many losses and heartache. Are you ready for the revelation?  I heard the Holy Spirit ask me this one question... "Who ARE YOU"? I responded "A Daddy's Girl. A Daughter of the Most High...then he reminded me of John 15:19 CEV "If you belonged to the world, its people would love you. But you don’t belong to the world. I have chosen you to leave the world behind, and that is why its people hate you. " Despite all the losses we endured in 2020, those losses will never equate to the power we carry as children of Daddy. Even when it looks like we are losing we are winning. I need us to remember that as we go into 2021. Even when it looks like we are losing or things are not working out for our good due to the principles of the world, we can't get fixated on it. We must realize that what the world is experiencing doesn't apply to us. We are in this world, but not of this world. "Them principles don't apply to us"! (LOL)

Prayer:  Daddy, we thank you for the constant reminders that no matter what happens around us, or in this world, in the end, it doesn't apply to us. We thank you that because of your adoption we have the authority to tap into your power, favor, joy, peace, and grace. That even when the enemy thinks that we are losing, we still win, because everything works out for the good of those that trust you and follow you according to your word. In Jesus Name! AMEN