HeartBroken

Hey Readers,

I know it's been a while, but I have been in an unmotivated funk. No reason on the why, but just have. But this past weekend a statement was made that blew my funk out the water. "GOD will break your heart to blow your mind."

What do you do when Daddy breaks your heart to blow your mind? Well, with a heart of thanksgiving you tell Him thank you. I am sure that the statement alone has some of you all confused. Why would Daddy break my heart, when He told me that He would give me my heart desires? (Ps 37:4) Well, can we quickly (and I do mean quickly) examine that scripture? When Daddy talks about giving you your heart desires here, we must examine the three verses prior. It says that we must delight ourselves in Daddy. When we delight ourselves in Him then, He will give us the desires of our heart. But we get the desires of our heart because they are actually His heart desires for us. Which brings me back to the statement that I said at the beginning of the blog that shook my world. "Daddy will break your heart to blow your mind."

I know you wondering why did this statement shake you so much? Well, it's because a lot of times we see Daddy's no as a punishment, as an indication that we are not doing something right or we did something wrong. But, in reality, His no, is His way of telling us what you are asking for is not big enough for me to give you. That I need to break your heart, so your mind can be blown by the thoughts I have towards you. That you need to realize that you aren't thinking my heart desires for you. That you are not connected to me like I need you to be. This what this statement is saying. Daddy is telling us to be bold enough and have so much faith that we are willing to trust Him to break our hearts so, I can blow our minds. WHEW!!! That was a lot to tell and take in, but it was worth it.

We must shift our hearts and minds when it comes to Daddy. We can't be content in our thinking, or even our heart desires that we miss Him. Daddy wants the best for us, and though we are thinking best, bigger, and greater for ourselves, Daddy feels as though we can go deeper and bigger.  Today, do me a favor... Let Daddy break your heart so, he can blow your mind!!

Prayer: Daddy, break our hearts, that our minds can be blown by your grace, favor, love, joy, and peace. Break us so we can be in a position to desire more of you and last of us. Break us, that we may be a testimony of your love towards us. Break us that we may enjoy life more abundantly here on earth. Break us, so we can see you. In JESUS Name! AMEN!!!

The Stretch

I know it's been a while, but I have a good excuse... I've been stretching and the stretch has not been easy. So let me tell you what this looks like and why the stretch has been one for the record books. Last year I  talked to Daddy about my next. I had a conversation about what to do now that I was finished with school and I was in a high leadership position. For a while, I didn't hear anything. I keep praying and being silent, but nothing. One day an event at work happen and it causes me to really feel like it was time for me to go, I prayed and this time Daddy gave me an answer. He told me a date that I would need to turn in my resignation and where to go afterward. Now it was where he told me to go afterward that had me kind of shook. I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. He said: "It's time for you to trust me fully, and do what I have equipped you to do. It's time that you go and do ministry at your church". After hearing this I spoke with my pastors to see what we need to do, to get me set up for the transition. They were so excited and felt like this was the best time to do so. I, on the other hand, was feeling some kind of way, but I knew what GOD said so I was in an " I trust GOD mindset".  So long story short I resigned from my job and working for my church full time as the senior pastor's assistant and mental health consultant. I have taken a $1400 pay cut, but nothing in my house has lack... NOTHING!!!

I know you are wondering what is the stretch. The stretch is letting GOD be GOD. How can we name Him provider and not give me the opportunity to actually provide? How can we call Him healer and not allow Him to heal us? How can we say we have victory in Him, but never give Him the opportunity to win the wars and battles that life throws at us? This is the stretch... Letting Daddy be all he says he can, will, and has been. Allowing Him to be everything we need when we need it as we continue to be obedient to all his instructions.

Let me say this... THIS HAS NOT BEEN EASY!!! I have tried to get another job, sought out ways to earn extra income, make my own plans, but GOD has blocked and convicted me of it all.  This stretch has really reminded me of  Jeremiah 29:11 where Daddy says: "I know the plans I have for your life, plans to prosper you, not to harm you."  In this stretch, it doesn't seem like the plan looks prosperous. It kind of feels like Daddy has brought me in the middle of the ocean and said now, swim. No direction, no guidance, only the action of doing what he said. Let me say this I thought that swimming in the ocean would be hard, but can I tell you I have been floating like a fish.

The stretch has taught 5 things... (If you don't know I love the number 5, it's the number of Grace):

1. Learn how to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

2. The weight may seem unbearable, but the wait is worth the process.

3. Remind Daddy of his word and promises. Daddy sees your heart, but HE responses to his word. He said that his word will not return to him void, so speak what he already said and watch him work.

4. Stay focus. When you are being obedient you may feel like you need to explain yourself, but there's not needed when you trust Daddy... Which brings me to number 5.

5. TRUST DADDY!!! When I tell you that Daddy has met needs before I even ask...He has. It can be as simple as lunch to money. I have never been a place where I've never seen His word manifest so quickly. But because I was obedient and I speak His word even in the midst of distractions, I have seen Him come through for me like never before.

Prayer: Father right now we thank you that you have already given us an example of the effects of what relentless faith looks like. We thank you that greatness is in us and though we may never see the whole promise we are grateful for the position to see pieces of the promise. We will pursue you like it is our last time, and seek your face over your hand. In the Name of JESUS... AMEN

Mask OFF

#HappyLOVEDay!!! I am so excited about today even in my singlehood, because to day is a day of conquering for me. Today I shared with a group of sorority sisters... Something I don't talk about a lot and haven't shared with a lot of people. Today I told them that Valentine's Day a.k.a Love Day is a trigger for me. About the age of I will say 22 I was madly in love and thought everything was about to fall in place in life. I was graduating and engaged.. But on V-Day that engagment ended and my heart was crush. I got over it and then 2010 on this same day my ex husband took my hand and declared his love for me at the altar. Romantic right?? But you did see ex in front of husband...lol After our divorce V-Day was never the same for me for 5 years on this day I would contemplate suicide, feelings of worthlessness would overtake me, and I would find myself in this deep depression. I would be smiling on the outside but tore up on the inside. I shared this with my sorority sisters and some where shock... The room got silent and heavy.. (I don't like those moments) but it was then that I realize how free and delievered I was from this pain of 5 years. I was able to share it with truth. Why am I sharing this with you? Because the the standards of society can overtake the standards of GOD if we allow it. I had allowed this to happen to me and I had to let GOD love me back to his standards of love. I felt lost and confused trying to fit in, when I was already in, but the enemy had me feeling I wasn't. I want you to know whether you have someone or not. The standard of the world's idealogy of love will never outlast the standards of GOD's love. Don't allow your singleness overtake you that you miss the moments of GOD's love, and don't allow your security in having a spouse make you forget your first love. Also I want you to know that if it hadn't been for yall loving me in those 5 years I would not be able to share this. Your love unknowingly saved me. So on today make sure you love on purpose. Spread the love. I know we should do this everyday, but take advantage of this day. Where the world is open to love and the idea of love and let someone know this doesn't have to be a one day out of the year moment, but a everyday moment. Love you  and thank you for loving me with purpose and tension.

Soul Detox

Daddy, I realize I'm going backward and not forward.  My flesh is out ruling my spirit because I've given into it daily. I've allowed myself to be overcome with thoughts of what my flesh wants and not what you want for me. My heart is heavy and filled with emotions I can't bare to carry or talk about. I feel so alone that I have reduced myself to the now fix, than the GOD fix. I've open doors you have shut and shut doors you have open; I've tainted them with my sinful nature just to numb the pain of the process. I 've lost hope, faith, and trust in you because it seems as though you keep working in my later when I need you in my now. I've kept silent far too long Daddy, trying to have the faith of your word. I feel lost and confused and you are the only one I can turn to. The world and country I live in is more divided as ever, and it feels like your victory is but a distant memory. What can I say or do to get you to move on my behalf? My tongues feel traditional, my heart empty, and my prayers muffled. My soul is in need of a dexto from You. I find myself screaming Your name, pleading for the blood to cover every guilty stain. I try to stay under the umbrella of your mercy and grace, but then I find myself being out of place. I want you Daddy and all you called me to be. But right now this assignment of being me seems too heavy for me. To be your standard, daughter, and bride. To be the one that never gets caught up in her pride. To be strong in your strength, operate in your gifts, and yield to your will; is not a stroll in the park. Daddy my soul needs the reminder of your love manifested in my now and interrupting my later. My soul needs the reminder of Your why. Why do you want me, why do you need me, and why don't you move in my timing? My soul needs your detox. The detox that clears my vision, restores my heart, guides me through the ups and downs, and shows me how to put me to the side. My soul needs the dexto of your joy, for you said in your word " I can find strength in it." You said it will be an exchange for my weakness. My soul needs your peace, for in it Your understanding will be released. I can see clearly now when your peace over takes me. Detox me Daddy for my soul is filled with thoughts of failure, fear, destruction, negativity, and hidden secrets. Remind me that your thoughts towards me are good, and so are the plans for my life. Remind me of the victorious victory of this fixed fight. DADDY DETOX ME!!! That my spirit man can be free in your liberty and my heart can show your love alone. DADDY DETOX ME!! So I won't become intoxicated with the instant gratification of this world, caught up in the politics of this nation, and overwhelmed by the words of men that state you can't and don't exist. DADDY DETOX ME!! That others connected to me can remember they are joint heirs of Christ, there is no lack in their lives, and you are the supplier of all their needs. DADDY DETOX ME!! That my husband can find me working for your kingdom, and serving your people. DADDY DETOX ME!! So I can have the faith to speak life to dead situations, see miracles, signs, and wonders. DADDY DETOX ME!! that my heart never feels the weight of disappointment. DADDY DETOX ME so I can be and look like your daughter again because right now I feel alone and abandoned. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME, so I can feel your presence every morning and every day. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME, because I don't know how much more my soul can take. DADDY DETOX ME so the enemy has no case against me. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME!!

In Jesus Name,

AMEN

In This Seasson

Hello Readers!!!

So if you all don't know the I have been working on her thesis and feeling like I am getting no where! But I read the Arise5 (the prophetic journal based on the Hebrew calendar.. check it out at: www.arise5.com)  and I am getting my strength back. But I want to encourage you like I was encourage. We are in the month of Tammuz which is one that is filled with great things and I am so excited to see them manifest. There where six things that really stuck out that we must be aware of and make part of our lives. 1. This is the season where GOD is going to show you areas in your life that you need to adjust in order to remain in his will and stay on the path that he has called you to. 2. Light. This is the season where your light will need to shine bright and this will happen by accepting and taking on the glory of GOD. This is done by being in his presence through prayer and worship. Ask GOD to take your worship to another level that His glory will be just as real to other as it is to you. 3. Delay (this one is for me) This is the month to celebrate the delays in your life, and know that they are the confirmations of GOD's preparation for your victory and promotion. 4. Choice.In this seasoning choosing to accept the positive in negative situations is crucial. You must speak the word in faith this season when it comes to negativity. Celebrate the positive in your life. I hope she doesn't mind but I love the fact that friend  was able to celebrate the healing of her son's heart but not only that, when he had to be place back on oxygen for a while she stayed positive by say "it's just for a moment". That's how we must response to negativity "IT'S JUST FOR A MOMENT," and if we declare the word of the LORD it will be just for a second. 5. Vulnerable... OOOOOOO I know some of us have a hard time with this word but this is necessary in this season. We can't be super heroes in handling those moments that seem overwhelming in our own strength, it's time that you tap into ... Say it with me Circle of Influence which brings me to my last point....6. Relationships. It's time to look at your circle to make sure it's still healthy, productive, functioning, and balance. I know it's heart and hard to prune and add to our circle but in this season it is necessary. Make sure your circle doesn't get stale and that you are open to new relationships.

Prayer: Daddy we thank you that we are in a season where life, light, delay, choices, vulnerability, and relationships are key essentials to how we function in this season. WE thank you that we have life in you, and you give us life more abundantly as we stay on the path that you called us to. Help us with every assignment that we encounter daily, that you may get the glory in our actions. Helps us seek your face always that your presence will become and remain real to us and your glory may be the light that the world sees in us. Daddy help us accept, rejoice, and understand your delay is not a denial only a setup for your blessings. Help us Daddy to make the right choice in this season. That we speak your word during negative situations and stand on the promise of your positive outcome. Daddy help us become vulnerable in our times of needs that we seek out help when we need it the most as well as accept the help of others. Help us Daddy to not only be givers but receivers. Some of us are quick to give and slow to receive, help us find balance in both areas. Last Daddy gives us the strength and the heart to let go of the relationships that don't grow us, that paralyze us in hurt, disappointment, unforgiveness, and discouragement. Help us make room for new relationships and give us the wisdom in who to let in and out of our lives. Help us not to see the pruning process as a place of pain , but one of growth and healing. In Jesus Name. Amen!

The Statement

Hey blog readers it's been a while since I post something but while on facebook I ran across a memory note that bless me all over again.

The note is titled: THE STATEMENT

So in a conversation that I had with a sister on tonight she brought out something that I never thought about. So may time in our time of repentance we make the statement "GOD forgive me for the decisions that I MADE." As she was praying for me, she stated "GOD allow my sister to move past the statement I MADE, because YOU are the author and finisher of our life story." NOW maybe you didn't get the revelation of the statement, so let me break it down. SHE said that I MADE, BUT YOU ARE THE AUTHOR AND FINISHER of OUR LIFE STORY. Which means that there is no such thing as a "MADE" Decision. Ok. GOD is the creator of all, and in the word He gives us free-will, but that doesn't cancel the fact that He created the situation to the decisions that we make. These same decisions that either set us up or out. Ok. I'm sorry I'm about to lose it over here. GOD knows what decisions that we are going to make as well as the outcome of how it will play out. Let me just say this, in order to be a victor you must receive the victory of YOUR LIFE STORY!

This bless me all over again!!! I was deep before marriage..lol But the point of this is that we have to realize the statements we make will never change the course to our GOD destination. There are two examples that come to mind from the Bible that really confirm how the statement of our decisions will not change our GOD destination. Come here Jonah. He decided that he was not going to do what GOD called him to do and despite his attempt to escape the assignment by verbally speaking his plan, he still ended on the shore of his GOD destination. Come here Peter... You told JESUS you would not deny him but you did it several time and you curse... But look at you being the disciple you were called to be leading nations to Christ!!! WE can make decision but despite our decisions we will get to the GOD destination. The question remains will you take the 40 year or 40 day journey???

Prayer: Daddy today we come to you to say thank you for being the author and finisher of our life story. We realize that no matter what decisions we make you will get us to Your destination. We thank you for forgiving us in our bad decision making that manifest disobedience, and giving us the opportunity to reach our GOD destination in your grace and mercy. Daddy we shift towards a mindset of obedience and we thank you that no matter what statement we make the result is we win in you. Daddy help stay the course of  your will. Help us warn off distractions that cause your voice to be drowned by the weight of this world and the worries of this life. Remind us Daddy that you are the provider and everything we need can and will be found in you. Daddy help us make the right statements over our life and speak only what you have spoke to us. Help us trust you and help us with our faith in you when things don't look like what we think they should look like. Remind us that your timing is perfect and what you have in store for us is greater than any thing that we could even image or think.  In JESUS Name! AMEN