She Reached The Hem of His Garment

Great Day Readers!!! 

Can you believe that January has almost ended and we are about to be in February and that I have done two entries this month?!? Let's pray I keep it up! I am going to truly try as my life continues to create opportunities of demands and advancements. My declaration this year is to be consistent in all the assignments GOD has called me to. 

This morning I  sent out a text to the people that are in my inner circle about something so personal and vulnerable to me. It came after me preaching a message and honestly me realizing I had never said some things out loud about parts of my life as a wife. I had never openly and out loud admit that my bleeding was caused by a miscarriage because by the time we got to the doctor to see what was going on I was no longer pregnant. After taking pregnant tests prior. What do you do when you know something; however, your denial and others' influence will tell you that you are lying to yourself? (That's another topic for another day) Below is the message that I sent to my circle that I feel that you could benefit from. I hope that it blesses and frees you as it did me.

Good morning! Listen on yesterday I got to preach on the story of the woman with the issue of blood, it's one of my favorite stories due to the fact I used to be her. No, I didn't bleed for 12 years; however, the almost year of bleeding felt like forever. It created so many emotional trauma moments and increased my areas of fear. It causes me to question my existence and my womanhood. I was married at the time to an insensitive husband, who didn't understand the fears that haunt me in my sleep. Not meeting his needs, realizing I had a miscarriage, and not knowing if or could I get pregnant again. I felt alone and isolated, ashamed, embarrassed, and scared. However, during my morning meditation, these scriptures spoke to me. 

God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares. See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting way— the path that brings me back to you. Psalms 139:23‭-‬24 TPT

 He heals the wounds of every shattered heart. Psalms 147:3 TPT 

I know you are wondering how did those two scriptures speak to you. When I reflect back on that moment I remember the anxiety and depression I felt, "anxious thoughts and path of pain". It wasn't until I ask Daddy to search me that the second scripture started to manifest. I don't know where you are in this journey called life. I don't know if you are still in the first scripture or you experiencing the second. I just want to encourage you to stand still and allow Daddy (GOD) to heal you. Know I'm praying for you and I love you! Thank you for the honor to do both.

Even though that text was for my circle, that text was meant for you as well. You may not be in either place. You may be in a place where life is all good and you are progressing along in this journey; however, use this as a reminder when times get hard.

Prayer: Daddy thank you that even in the midst of adversity, disappointment, frustration, and confusion, you are there to search us, guide us, and heal us. You are there to remind us that you heal, you create wholeness, and you are at peace we just have to stand still long enough for you to search us. We love you and honor you. Thank you for being the one that creates ways out of no way. In Jesus Name! Amen

Good Grief

Hey DDC Readers,

This DDC blog is something different. Today I want to address grief and the spirits that come with it. I want to help someone that is not only dealing with the grief, due to the loss of a loved one, but due to life changes. Let me put on my therapist hat and educate on grief. Grief is not the result of a loss of a loved one alone, it comes with life changes good, bad, and ugly. I always give the example of how someone that lose something like their keys goes through the 5 stages of grief while looking for them. (*the stages of grief are not in a 1,2,3 format.  The five stages of grief are: 1) Denial, 2) Bargaining, 3) Anger, 4) Depression, and 5) Acceptance  You can jump through stages and repeat them often) When you first lose your keys you may be in denial. you may make statements like " I know left the keys right here." We may find ourselves bargaining, especially when someone else is in the house. "Look, whoever moved my keys, please just put them back." After, that statement we may find ourselves angry and frustrated, especially after retracing our steps. We will say things like, "I know my keys were right here, who moved them?" Because the anger can truly be overwhelming we can get depressed, especially when we have exhausted all resolution and actions. Lastly, we will get to the acceptance stage. We will make a statement like "Oh well, I guess I lost my keys." At that moment we find the keys and the grief moment is up. We don't realize that we have experience grief due to the fact that we bounce back so easily from it   I hope that this blog helps everyone that reads it and it helps you move from grief to good grief and healing.

Post:
"As a counselor, my job is to help those in need and remind myself to be a rock so that the person on the other side of the conversation can be vulnerable and get what they need to get out... I pray daily GOD use me to be your vessel that you may get the glory out of the gift you have given me as a counselor. Well, this month has been one of the months where I really need GOD to manifest that prayer 10x. For some reason, the holidays seem like an open door for the enemy to come in like a flood. But can I tell those that have lost a loved one, remembering a loved one, grieving, grieving over a marriage gone wrong, feeling lost, depressed, numb, distraught, discouraged, confused, in pain, bewildered, frustrated, negative, and drain something... He will... HE will remove, restore, renew, heal, protect, provide, pour out, give victory, rescue, and save you in a breath of our Yes and an action of your surrendering! I don't care what it looks like or how you feel.. My DADDY is THE on-time GOD he says he is. Not only that, he will overtake your desires, depression, and desperation with his glory, presence, love, peace, and joy. You will survive the holidays because your purpose is not over. Pick your head up, cry your tears, scream to the top of your lungs... but take of the ashes of mourning and put on the garment of praise... If you leave it on long enough you will start to fill the effects. #gottoresponddifferently #thisishispurpose."

What do you do when your message from 5 years ago still holds weight even now? You share it! This message has more value now than then. I have seen my friends struggle through the holidays, my married friends say goodbye to their long marriages. I have tried to encourage my friends to keep moving as they grieve the loss of their loved ones or marriage. I am here to share this message with them. Because in this season you can't allow the enemy to take away your joy even in their physical absence. As long as you live they live!! Don't allow your want to grief hinder you from your need to heal. I am going to say that again Don't allow YOUR WANT to grief hinder YOUR NEED to heal. Being paralyzed in the moment of their absence will only give the enemy more room in your life. Yes, life will be hard without them, but it doesn't make it impossible. I always encourage those that have lost loved ones to do three things. 1) create a night of memories with family and friends. This night should not be a night where you reflect on the person's absence but on their effects. What can you do make sure that their legacy lives? What I love about great leaders that have gone on before is that even in their death they still live. You can do the same with your loved ones. 2) Create a tradition that allows you to incorporate new family memories. Creating a new norm is not easy but it's doable. 3) Don't fake the funk! It's ok to grieve, cry, get mad and/or angry, but you can't stay there. You can't make statements like: "I am not going to make it through the holidays." "I just want to be by myself." or "You don't understand." Why? Because you can make it, one step, moment, and second at a time. (it's an everyday process), You can't be by yourself, because that will cause you to be paralyzed in your grief. Last, everyone may not understand, but there is someone around you that does and wants to be there for you. So, this season I need you all to grieve yes, but let's grieve in the direction of healthy grief and not unhealthy grief. Let's do our loved ones the justice of living because they would not want it any other way.

When it comes to other life-changing events apply the same three steps but add one, let yourself heal. Don't be a shame of your brokenness, remind yourself that you are in the process towards your wholeness.

Prayer: Daddy, I thank you for every reader that will read this blog. I thank you that you will heal them in the area of grief and brokenness. That you will manifest your peace, joy, love, and comfort in their lives as they continue to deal with the life changes that cause them to experience the process and emotions of grief. I pray that when they read this, they will become free and that everything that was holding them back from experienceing good grief is loose off of them and sent to a dry place. I thank you that as of today, they will experience the healing process of good grief. In JESUS Name. AMEN!!!

Selfish Heart

What a transparent moment this blog will be as I had a come to Jesus meeting with myself. Over the past couple of months during this transition of moving out the secular world of working into ministry, I have really been examining me. How I talk...Think.. See others... Respond to others... Just my heart. I prayed the dangerous prayer found in Psalm 139:23 "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts." That prayer alone has revealed my selfish heart. A heart that did not realize how brokenhearted I was... that I had projected it onto others. A heart that was willing to judge others before look at self. A heart that desired what she wanted when she wanted it, without asking Daddy what He wanted for me.

This has been a tough pill to swallow. Because this whole time I have made it my goal to pursue Daddy in a way I never pursue Him before. I feel so defeated and disappointed in myself. I feel like what is the use of the Christian journey if this is going to be the end result of my efforts of getting close to Daddy. But, here is the thing this is where the enemy wants me.  Question have you ever felt like where I am? Have you ever felt doubtful, hopeless, and discourage in your pursuit to seek Daddy? Have you ever felt like it wasn't worth it? Can I tell you something that has really saved me from feeling guilty and unworthy of Daddy's presence and love (because those are the emotions that I felt when I realize this was my heart), His grace and mercy is new daily!!! I know that seems so simple but not good enough. I know it seems like there should be more to help with a selfish heart. But after realizing how selfish I was.  I heard the Holy Spirit say " His grace is sufficient." ( 2 Corinthians 12:9).

How awesome is our Daddy, that He knew that one day we would make time to pray the prayer, asking him to search our hearts and finding out the selfishness that was in it... that He put a clause in place that would cover us. His grace covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

In all of this, I never thought that I would feel free as I feel now. I am in a place where I know there are some root issues that I need to deal with. That I need to learn how to apply the fruits of the spirit in a life applicable way. That I have to love in spite of how I feel or what they did. Because Daddy first love me (1 John 4:19), and there is nothing greater than love. (1 Peter 4:8). That His joy is my strength (Psalms 28:8) and in Him can I only find peace. (2 Thessalonians 3:16). That long-suffering create perseverance (Matthew 24:13) and gentleness creates a place of forgiveness (Philippians 4:5).

Goodness creates confidence (Psalms 27:13), faith ties the fruits of the Spirit together creating boldness in you (2 Peter 1:5-7). Meekness creates the opportunity for you to gain an inheritance (Matthew 5:5) and self-control keeps you out of trouble (Proverbs 21:23).

Today I challenge us to not meditate on the selfishness of our hearts, but the fact that they can become selfless if we just apply the word of God to our lives.

Prayer:  Daddy, we come to say thank you that your grace is sufficient enough to cover the multitude of sins that our heart creates. Thank you for taking out the time to examine our hearts and not allow us to remain selfish. Thank you that you have allowed the fruits of the Spirit to come in and take over that we may be better sons and daughters. Helps us to remain in a place of faith and examination. That we will not get settled where we are, but we will grow in your light and remain selfless and not selfish. In JESUS  name! Amen

Soul Detox

Daddy, I realize I'm going backward and not forward.  My flesh is out ruling my spirit because I've given into it daily. I've allowed myself to be overcome with thoughts of what my flesh wants and not what you want for me. My heart is heavy and filled with emotions I can't bare to carry or talk about. I feel so alone that I have reduced myself to the now fix, than the GOD fix. I've open doors you have shut and shut doors you have open; I've tainted them with my sinful nature just to numb the pain of the process. I 've lost hope, faith, and trust in you because it seems as though you keep working in my later when I need you in my now. I've kept silent far too long Daddy, trying to have the faith of your word. I feel lost and confused and you are the only one I can turn to. The world and country I live in is more divided as ever, and it feels like your victory is but a distant memory. What can I say or do to get you to move on my behalf? My tongues feel traditional, my heart empty, and my prayers muffled. My soul is in need of a dexto from You. I find myself screaming Your name, pleading for the blood to cover every guilty stain. I try to stay under the umbrella of your mercy and grace, but then I find myself being out of place. I want you Daddy and all you called me to be. But right now this assignment of being me seems too heavy for me. To be your standard, daughter, and bride. To be the one that never gets caught up in her pride. To be strong in your strength, operate in your gifts, and yield to your will; is not a stroll in the park. Daddy my soul needs the reminder of your love manifested in my now and interrupting my later. My soul needs the reminder of Your why. Why do you want me, why do you need me, and why don't you move in my timing? My soul needs your detox. The detox that clears my vision, restores my heart, guides me through the ups and downs, and shows me how to put me to the side. My soul needs the dexto of your joy, for you said in your word " I can find strength in it." You said it will be an exchange for my weakness. My soul needs your peace, for in it Your understanding will be released. I can see clearly now when your peace over takes me. Detox me Daddy for my soul is filled with thoughts of failure, fear, destruction, negativity, and hidden secrets. Remind me that your thoughts towards me are good, and so are the plans for my life. Remind me of the victorious victory of this fixed fight. DADDY DETOX ME!!! That my spirit man can be free in your liberty and my heart can show your love alone. DADDY DETOX ME!! So I won't become intoxicated with the instant gratification of this world, caught up in the politics of this nation, and overwhelmed by the words of men that state you can't and don't exist. DADDY DETOX ME!! That others connected to me can remember they are joint heirs of Christ, there is no lack in their lives, and you are the supplier of all their needs. DADDY DETOX ME!! That my husband can find me working for your kingdom, and serving your people. DADDY DETOX ME!! So I can have the faith to speak life to dead situations, see miracles, signs, and wonders. DADDY DETOX ME!! that my heart never feels the weight of disappointment. DADDY DETOX ME so I can be and look like your daughter again because right now I feel alone and abandoned. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME, so I can feel your presence every morning and every day. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME, because I don't know how much more my soul can take. DADDY DETOX ME so the enemy has no case against me. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME!!

In Jesus Name,

AMEN

Do you See It?

It's been a while since I post something and I saw this on my memories on my facebook page and thought it would be a good thing to share with my blogger especially since it was written 7 years ago.

Well Do you see it? Is your vision as clear as you think it is? Even with my glasses or contacts I couldn't see it. I couldn't see that my vision was off and that I been placed in a category. No one place me there but me, and now I'm having a "How in the Heck DID I GET HERE," moment. Have you ever had one of those? I had to do a vision check and in my check I realize that there are three different visions.

Clear Vision: the ability to notice and acknowledge the facts but activate the faith.
• When you have clear vision you understand that failures are the cosigners to success.

Blurry Vision: knowing and focusing on the facts with the knowledge of what faith can do.
• Placing your failure in the position where they outweigh  your accomplishments along with the element of ignorance will cause you to have blurry vision.

Blindness: faithfully doubting
• Can’t see pass your past, because the pain is still in your present

I realize that I had blurry vision only because I couldn’t see pass my own failure and embrace the lessons that were attached to them. It’s so crazy. I would have rather stayed in a place of ignorance than embrace the knowledge. I would have rather stay in a place of comfort than to move into my place of destiny. But now I realize that my vision must improve and I must realize the greatness of the element of my vision when I set my dreams, goals, and faith into action.

My challenge to you: analyze your vision and make sure you are seeing the right thing.


Prayer: Daddy today we come to you asking you to speak to our vision. We have been in a place where our vision may not have been so clear  or it was clear but we did not act in the clarity of it. Daddy we asked that forgive us of our disobedience and  remove any thing that my hinder the clarity of our vision and remove our will from your plan. Daddy submit ourselves to your vision and we yield to what you have called us to. Give us vision clarity right now that we may move in  the things of you . In Jesus Name. Amen!

The Reality is....

This post is going to be really different because it will be comprise of several things (Dear Future Husband, Transparency, and Daddy Daughter Conversation) For the last three months I have really been in the position of student and learning. About six months ago I ask GOD to start preparing me and surrounding me with the things that a wife would have to face, because I was the position where I really desire the Man of GOD I was designed for. In that prayer I had the opportunity to experience "Wife Lessons." Let me tell you Wife lessons are hard. I mean patience and the ability to hear has been the biggest lesson and teacher during each lesson. I am overwhelm with the revelations that Daddy has given me through every teaching moment. But the biggest lesson came when I found myself in battle in my sleep in my room at night. (Here is me being Transparent) I would find myself fight demotic spirits and one looked like someone I knew. I contact someone I trust that had the spiritual wisdom that I needed to help me understand what was going on. In our conversation she told me that I needed to record every encounter, ask Daddy about it, and realize the pattern of when the attacks happen. Before she could tell me more.. I got the revelation of the why, when, and how they happen. She then told me to explore the root of those areas and when I tell you it didn't take me long to reveal the root. The root came from suppressed insecurity, abandonment, rejection, and giving  my body away. Because every demotic attack was a man. I was overwhelm when I realize that what I thought I was over was really a suppressed moment exposed through these attacks. I did any and everything to make sure that I look like I had it all together, even it meant acting like certain things didn't happen, but the reality is.... What I don't deal with in the natural got exposed in the spiritual and it gave the enemy the permission to come in and do whatever he wanted to do with me. So with all that being said I had to ask Daddy to help me recall every moment that I felt abandon, rejected, given myself away, and let me not forget unforgiveness too which lead to my insecurity. Last night I had to go into my walk in closet and make it my altar calling out everything that the Holy Spirit brought to my mind. From being divorced to being in the position of feel like the only thing that I had to offer a man was my body. I was put on the surgical table to be cut on. I asked for a clean heart and blood transfusion along with freedom. I had to remember that I have freedom in Daddy and there is no chain too strong that can't be broke by him. It's amazing how suppressed things will find themselves exposed no matter how much you try to keep them in. Because I was able to be place on the altar of sacrifices I now have begun to feel the freedom that Daddy promises us. It's awesome but it's just a piece of what I can have and I plan on having in all areas of my life. (Dear  Future Husband)

Dear Future Husband:

I realize that every time I fuss at you for your short comings I am actually frustrated with my own suppressed emotions. The ones that I feel if I present them to you, you will see me in a light that is unpleasing to you. That you will no longer see your priceless jewel, but see broken pieces of colored glass. But after laying on Daddy's altar and presenting my body on his surgical table, he cut me open and replace my heart with his and gave me a blood transfusion that cause me to regain joy and my place in him. No longer am I upset at my short comes and no longer am I striving towards perfection but excellence. I apologize for all the times I made you feel less than a man. I apologize for making you feel like you failed me. Know that there is nothing in this world that you can do to fail me unless you stop listening to Daddy. You are my rock, you are the natural representation of GOD's love towards me. You are his heart in the flesh. Thank you for always being so patient and forgiving. I realize that this nothing new for you, that you were prepared for this very moment because Daddy told you it was coming. But that doesn't meant that I can't correct my actions. I thank you for being so great and open with me every step up the way. Today as Daddy has open my heart I expose my all to you. I realize that this should have been done before now, but you knew that I would come to you sooner than later with all of my brokenness healed. Thank you for being my heart beat when I didn't see how to love you beyond my flaws. Thank you for being the covering that you were destine to be for me. The tears that I cry right now are not of hurt and frustration any more, but gratitude and joy. I am totally grateful that you know the value of us and me. That my price in your heart never devalues but continues to gain value. I love you so much.

With a healed heart,

Your Priceless Jewel

Prayer: Daddy this was the most difficult revelation about me that I have ever had to face in a while. To know that I was in a place of bondage thinking I was free. Daddy thank you for a husband who can pray for my brokenness and not walk away as though there is not hope. Thank you for a man who sees beyond my flaws and see my freedom. Father right now I expose my flaws, heart, and mind to you. Find all the areas of insecurities in my life and cover them in the blood and destroying them with your love. For you said in your word that I fearfully and wonderfully made in you. Daddy expose every areas of doubt that I have suppressed just to fake joy. You said that I should be anxious for nothing. That you have taken on every burden that I may experience your everlasting joy. Jesus you said that you came that I can have life and life more abundantly and I accept the abundance of  life today. Daddy take away the areas of rejection that I have kept a secrete for you said in your word that your plans for my life are good and perfect. That you knew me before I was even a thought in my mother's womb. Daddy make me whole again. You said that you are my healer, that in you I can find rest and refuge. Daddy right now I ask that every broken area and piece of me be whole in you. Thank you that the blood of your son Jesus make me new in you and your grace covers me daily. Daddy thank you for being my father. For loving me in spite of. I thank you that you will never allow anything to harm me. I bind up every attack, assignment, and ambush of the enemy that is in the works, working, and thinking about manifesting in the name of Jesus and with his blood I send them all to the pit of hell. I thank you father that ever witch, war lock, demotic spirit, or imp is bound in the the name of Jesus and sent to the pit of hell and every opening, window, door, gateway, foot hold, crack, and cranny that the enemy is trying to come through has been sealed with the blood of JESUS and that the freedom of you has been released. Thank you Daddy for freedom and the healing of self inflicted wounds. Daddy I rest in your freedom, I speak your joy, I represent your glory and I thank you for your peace. In JESUS NAME AMEN