I Am Worried

Hey Readers!!! 

I know it's been a while and I promise you all have been on my mind, but life... I am sure you all can understand how life's ups and downs can get you so off-tracked and discouraged that you start to place energy away from your assignment onto the things you should surrender to GOD.  As I prepare to celebrate another year around the sun and a new year. I find myself worrying about things I haven't worried about in the past. I am worried about being a great daughter to an elderly parent as an only child. I am worried if I am prepared to deal with the single life for another year with no children. I am worried if I can deal with the ups and downs of life healthy.  These worries have had me up since 4:34 am this morning asking Daddy to come to the table with Jesus for a "Come to Jesus" meeting. I asked Daddy how did I get here. What did I do or go wrong when it comes to how I have been living life for Him and with Him? I was so frustrated to point that I stop speaking and surrendering, that I start asking for a word. You know what Daddy did?!? He gave me a word not once but twice. The first word he gave me is found in

 Proverbs 12:25 NLT " Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up". The TPT version says "Anxious fear brings depression, but a life-giving word of encouragement can do wonders to restore joy to the heart".

Both versions address what I have been feeling, worry and anxiety, which leads to a place of depression and lack of joy. But what really got me was part B of the scripture "an encouraging word restores joy to the heart." Listen!!! I almost lost it because I realize I was so busy dwelling in the cave of worry and anxiety that I was not making way for the encouraging word. The word that could restore me... The word that would cheer me up. David said it best in 

1 Samuel 30:6 "And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God." 

There are times in our worry and anxious moments when we must encourage ourselves in GOD. This means we must surrender. Let's focus on part B of that scripture using the word surrender. "David surrendered himself to the LORD his GOD." That scripture and the action of David take on a whole other meaning of what we should do when it's time for us to encourage ourselves. It reminds us that to truly be in a position of encouragement we must surrender... not just the things we don't have handled, but the things we have a handle on. 

The second word came from an ex that is a friend. He struggles with his GOD relationship and from day one of us meeting I have prayed that he would have an encounter with GOD that would change his life and push him into his GOD destiny and healing. This morning he says to me:

"Hey, something told me to call you to give you this scripture Phillipians 4:13, I am sure you are familiar with what it says, but I am going to remind you what it says...You can do all things through Christ that strengthens you. This doesn't include failure. So, no matter what you go going on, you are promised success". Now I am on the phone with tears coming out of my eyes saying, ok Daddy you really do love me. Because he got out of his comfort zone just to be obedient to give me that word.  I want to encourage someone you may feel like your ability to encourage others may be in vain or you may be sowing seeds on bad ground, but let me tell you the process, the seeds, the wait, and obedience are so worth it. Mind-blowing blessings are on the way keep up the work and stay in the posture of surrendering. 

Today I challenge us to do three things 1) surrender EVERYTHING to GOD; 2) give an encouraging word to someone so you can have room to be encouraged; 3) trust the timing and promises of GOD. The wait may seem heavy; however, the fruit is great and worth the process (preaching to myself)

Prayer: Daddy we surrender all!!! All to you and the things you have in store for us. We surrender the things we think we have control of, and we make room for you. We expect you to handle everything that concerns us because you are not a man that you would lie to, and your words say we can trust you.  In Jesus' Name. AMEN!

And This Happened

 Great Day Readers! I hope that your Holy Week truly started the way for you to grow in your relationship with Daddy, be aware of the revelation of the cross, and create moments of closeness and manifestation of the presence of the Trinity. 

This morning doing my quiet time I came across this scripture. "Before you do anything, put your trust totally in God and not in yourself. Then every plan you make will succeed". Proverbs 16:3 TPT  That scripture hit me like a ton of bricks. Because it tells me the step I need to overcome the fear of failure, grow my faith, create guaranteed success, and how to continue to grow. The step is so simple it's scary. The step is to TRUST TOTALLY IN GOD! I know what you are saying... Shawndrika dull! However, that one step is hard because it comes with three uncomfortable actions we must take: 1) surrender 2) lose control 3) obedience to the unknown (faith). I don't know about you, but, I struggle in all three, especially when I need results like yesterday. Not only do I struggle with these three, but these things, are also inconsistent. When storms come, when issues arise, when things seem not to be working in your favor we must go back to the actions we must take which are the three steps listed above.  My prayer for us today is to trust Daddy at a level that those three things become easy in all areas of our life and not just the areas we are comfortable with doing them in.  Prayer:  Daddy, thank you for giving us the step to guaranteed success. Help us to be able to do our part when it comes to trusting You. Let us be able to do these actions no matter if we are comfortable or uncomfortable in the situation, issue, or circumstance that we are trusting You in. In Jesus' Name. AMEN!

HeartBroken

Hey Readers,

I know it's been a while, but I have been in an unmotivated funk. No reason on the why, but just have. But this past weekend a statement was made that blew my funk out the water. "GOD will break your heart to blow your mind."

What do you do when Daddy breaks your heart to blow your mind? Well, with a heart of thanksgiving you tell Him thank you. I am sure that the statement alone has some of you all confused. Why would Daddy break my heart, when He told me that He would give me my heart desires? (Ps 37:4) Well, can we quickly (and I do mean quickly) examine that scripture? When Daddy talks about giving you your heart desires here, we must examine the three verses prior. It says that we must delight ourselves in Daddy. When we delight ourselves in Him then, He will give us the desires of our heart. But we get the desires of our heart because they are actually His heart desires for us. Which brings me back to the statement that I said at the beginning of the blog that shook my world. "Daddy will break your heart to blow your mind."

I know you wondering why did this statement shake you so much? Well, it's because a lot of times we see Daddy's no as a punishment, as an indication that we are not doing something right or we did something wrong. But, in reality, His no, is His way of telling us what you are asking for is not big enough for me to give you. That I need to break your heart, so your mind can be blown by the thoughts I have towards you. That you need to realize that you aren't thinking my heart desires for you. That you are not connected to me like I need you to be. This what this statement is saying. Daddy is telling us to be bold enough and have so much faith that we are willing to trust Him to break our hearts so, I can blow our minds. WHEW!!! That was a lot to tell and take in, but it was worth it.

We must shift our hearts and minds when it comes to Daddy. We can't be content in our thinking, or even our heart desires that we miss Him. Daddy wants the best for us, and though we are thinking best, bigger, and greater for ourselves, Daddy feels as though we can go deeper and bigger.  Today, do me a favor... Let Daddy break your heart so, he can blow your mind!!

Prayer: Daddy, break our hearts, that our minds can be blown by your grace, favor, love, joy, and peace. Break us so we can be in a position to desire more of you and last of us. Break us, that we may be a testimony of your love towards us. Break us that we may enjoy life more abundantly here on earth. Break us, so we can see you. In JESUS Name! AMEN!!!

I am Over It

Daddy, I am over it! The heartache, the frustration, the cycles, the relationships, the rollercoaster ride of emotions, the debt, the worry, the stress, the fear, the disappointment, the failures, setbacks, and setups. I AM OVER IT!!!
This is the conversation that I had a few days ago with Daddy as I sat in my living room crying and stressing over the bill collectors calling me, worrying about how I am going to pay, this and that. This is the mindset I had when I thought about the investment I poured into so many relationships and friendships. This is even the mindset I had when it came to church too. I was OVER IT!!!

Have you ever been there? To the point, you were over everything that affected your life in such a negative way? I mean to the point you even contemplated taking your life? Well, that was me. Yep, this is a transparent moment. One that I think plenty people have but are ashamed to admit. I mean who wants to be in the position of showing that they trust GOD and then turning around and saying life is not worth living anymore?

This is probably going to be a real transparent moment for me because I have not told anyone, but you, my readers this.  I have been keeping these things bottled, masked, and hidden. I mean I am a licensed therapist and minister, how does it sound and look for me to be speaking or thinking suicidal thoughts? But, there I was only a week ago in my living room trying to Netflix and chill and these were my thoughts.

But, guess what? The same things that I just told Daddy that I was over, are the same things that He was trying to use to get me to my next. UGH!! Don't you hate it when Daddy uses the things you hate to get you to your next? How He uses issues, situations, circumstances, and failure to show you how to grow. To birth out new assignments, ideas, and gifts? How He takes your constant complaining and creates a moment for you to experience His glory and presence?

I hate it, but it's in those same moments that I realize how much GOD is  I AM! I AM is over it, and I AM is in it. He takes over and uses His strength to create new beginnings for us to be in Him and over IT ... The IT is us. We are the IT!!! I mean the IT is our.....will, word, and way.  It is our ability and desires to want to operate in our strength, mindset, and emotions.

But how do we get over the IT? By allowing Daddy to be it. I was reminded of the game tag. How the object of the game when being IT, is to tag as many people as you can before they get to the base. That's what Daddy wants to do. He wants to tag as many of your problems before they get to the base of your mind and you feel defeated instead of victorious.  That's why I John 5:4 says "for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith".
So today do me a favor join me in playing a game of tag. Let your problems run but allow Daddy to be IT!

Prayer: Daddy, thank you that you have already told us that you will handle all that concerns us. We thank you that even when it seems like our problems are weighing us down to the point we want to give up on life, we will tag you and allow you to be it. You are the source of our strength and everything that we need to get through every moment of our lives. We thank you for being IT. In JESUS name. Amen!

The Examination of Faith

Hello Readers!

I know.. I know it's been a while but after constant conversations with Daddy I am in a place where I have to make this a priority again. So today I want to talk about the process of faith. On the way to work and just in the last couple of months (9 months to be exact) GOD has really been challenging me in the area of faith. Yep FAITH. So I was in the car today and I ask Daddy why do I continue to get the prophetic word that says I need to trust you? That you are isolating me? That I have to deal with the pruning and and make scarifies?  And he told me Daughter look at your actions. I will tell you to do the simple things and you are asking questions like Daddy is that you?!? I know I am not by myself and if I am then .... That's fine, because today I want to share the start of this process of examination of my faith. As Daddy continue to show me, my faith issues and areas I continue to waiver in when trusting him; of course the spirit of conviction came over me, and this scripture hit my soul:
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:5-6)  

Do you know how many time I've asked Daddy to guide and give me the wisdom to move forward in the things that he has called me to.. I mean this blog for example is one that can truly be a faith move of wisdom in action. But it's verse 6 that cut me ..... " you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." I am in tears just meditating and speaking on the verse. I got the revelation that the life changes that I have and am experiencing are not just due to season changes alone, but to the fact that I have cast myself to the winds.... EEW!!! Please forgive my overwhelm conviction right now. I am in a place where I am trying to learn Daddy as "I AM," and that takes a lot. Because to know him as " I AM" you are going to have to examine your faith. You are going to have to get out the currents of the winds and get on the boat and ride it out. Oh I am preach to myself and probably some of you. But I had to ask Daddy when and how did I get here.. His response, "You tell me." I was like I don't know.. Was it before the marriage or after? Was it before all the life changing events... divorce...death..moving...being a daughter....embracing me again...?!?! I don't know.. Then Daddy was like you do but maybe you don't want to admit it. Actually I do remember.... It was the divorce. It was when I thought I had totally blew it and I have never bounced back from it. Ever since my divorce I have been caught in the currents of the waves and winds. I have created gods that were higher than Daddy unintentionally and I have allowed those to be my hiding places. One being my sorority... Yep I am sorority girl... I love my sorority and all my sorority sisters. They have been a blessing to me in every life changing event. They have supported, held me up, and prayed with me. Even this past week when I thought I was having a stroke and had to go the ER (by the way I am ok it was not a stroke, just a wake up call to take care of me more better.) they were praying and keeping me calm. They were willing to drive to my aid. But in my conversation with Daddy, he told me it's time that I let them go... Not the relationship but the duty of god that I have made them. Again without the intention to do so. This goes also with certain friends and even relationships I have. I have cause them to be a priority over GOD... Over DADDY! So that is the reason for my prophetic word of isolation and pruning, Learning to let go of  your security is a hard and heart thing to do. But it must be done, and done not in your strength, but that of THE FATHER. So as I continue to examine my faith I have made up in my mind that this is a process. It's not going to happen overnight but it is something that I must endure. I must  realize that the process will truly yield great fruit. 

So today as I take this journey of examining my faith I will share with you... my readers the process and downloads that Daddy shares with me. Today we take a journey to make Daddy not only a priority again, but to also make his trust our truth. I don't know about you but I am tired of getting toss to and fro by the winds and waves of my own doubt, created  by my emotions, fueled by my insecurities, and covered by my words. TODAY is a new day and will continue to be the process of  GREATNESS.

Prayer: Daddy today as we examine our faith in you, help us realize what we contribute to the doubt of trusting you. Help us realize the brokenness that we have carried and tried to fix is not for us to hold on to or even deal with; but the perfect opportunity for us to surrender to you. Daddy help us to trust you again in all things, and not the things we do not have plans of actions for. Help us be in a position were we are not delayed in our obedience or questioning the motives of your instructions. Helps us always say "YES DADDY." Help and remind us that surrendering all is an everyday process, because the all we surrendered yesterday, comes with today's surrendering. Daddy help us live life in the words of mandated trust and not that of  "I might trust". Daddy gives us a heart to realize though your timing is not what we want it to be, it is still perfect, and that you only want the best for us. Help us let go of gods that we have created in our lives intentionally or unintentionally, that we can only see you. Bring us back to the place were your presence was all that we needed. That your yes was all we had.
In Jesus Name,  Amen!