I Just Want To Be Obedient

Today start a new journey! Today, I join with bloggers across the world in a challenge that can seem intimidating, dishearting, and frustrating. Today, I start my day 1 of #bloglikecrazy.

What is #bloglikecrazy? #bloglikecrazy is a 30-day challenge of blogging your heart out. It was created by writer, CEO, and blogger Javacia Harris Bowser the founder "See Jane Write". (Check out her page on seejanewritebrham.com.) So, for the next 30days, I will be posting blogs on here for the first two weeks and the last 2 weeks I will post on my other blog page... DearFutureHusband365 blog (which you can follow and subscribe to by going to: dearfuturehusbad365.wordpress.com)

Enough with the chit-chat, let's get down to business, shall we!!

I thought it was only bidding that I start my first day of #bloglikecrazy with the topic of obedience because this is what this challenge is truly going to pull out of me. When I thought about this topic I thought about how many times I was delayed in my obedience. How many times Daddy gave me the opportunity to be obedient and I found myself more in tune with questioning the assignment than doing what I was supposed to do.  I am sure I am not alone in this action. Questioning something that we know Daddy told us to do.  In doing this routine of questioning I found myself singing this song (yes I made it up) "I just want to be obedient.  Be obedient.  Obedient. Daddy, I just want to be obedient without the questions".  Now this song is not a one-hit wonder, it is a tune that I sing daily because Daddy is requiring something new for me to do daily. Something out the box. Something out of my comfort zone and knowledge. Something that requires me to sacrifice sleep or submit myself to someone. So, the struggle of obedience is real to me.  But, in the midst of the struggle, I am reminded of the scripture found in 1 Samuel 15:22 part b of that verse that says, "Obedience is better than sacrifice". (NLT)

I am sure some of looked at that scripture and wondered what are we truly sacrificing? Especially, when what Daddy is calling us to do is something so simple as praying for someone at 5 am in the morning and we just went to sleep at 2am. Surely, Daddy would understand that you need your sleep to function... RIGHT?!? That if you still pray once you were at least coherent,  that it would be better than struggling with your sleep. But can I tell you that Daddy would not understand! Because as HIS children we are to submit to HIM daily and, that submission requires consistent and total obedience.
That we may not be sacrificing anything personally, but we may be sacrificing saving someone's life. Now, I know you are thinking it's not that deep. But, can I tell you that it is!! I have had to wake up out my good sleep because, my dreams where consist of me dreaming of a person that Daddy told me to pray for. I love the fact that Daddy gives us a chance to correct our disobedience so we can be in a place of obedience, even if mean disrupting something we enjoy.

Today, I want to challenge us to never be in a place of delaying in our obedience. That when Daddy tells us to do something, we will do it without hesitation. That we will be open to the process and instructions that HE is requiring of us. That we will not question the task, but with boldness, bravery, and humility complete it in the spirit of excellence.

Prayer: Daddy, we come now repenting for being disobedient. Whether if it was in our delayed obedience, or not completing the task at all. We ask that you forgive us for our obedience. Today, we take a stand saying we will do, go, say, and obey. We realize that though we may not be sacrificing something, something is being sacrificed when we don't obey. So, we ask for Your grace and mercy and we thank you for giving us a chance to get it right. In Jesus Name...AMEN!!

Mask OFF

#HappyLOVEDay!!! I am so excited about today even in my singlehood, because to day is a day of conquering for me. Today I shared with a group of sorority sisters... Something I don't talk about a lot and haven't shared with a lot of people. Today I told them that Valentine's Day a.k.a Love Day is a trigger for me. About the age of I will say 22 I was madly in love and thought everything was about to fall in place in life. I was graduating and engaged.. But on V-Day that engagment ended and my heart was crush. I got over it and then 2010 on this same day my ex husband took my hand and declared his love for me at the altar. Romantic right?? But you did see ex in front of husband...lol After our divorce V-Day was never the same for me for 5 years on this day I would contemplate suicide, feelings of worthlessness would overtake me, and I would find myself in this deep depression. I would be smiling on the outside but tore up on the inside. I shared this with my sorority sisters and some where shock... The room got silent and heavy.. (I don't like those moments) but it was then that I realize how free and delievered I was from this pain of 5 years. I was able to share it with truth. Why am I sharing this with you? Because the the standards of society can overtake the standards of GOD if we allow it. I had allowed this to happen to me and I had to let GOD love me back to his standards of love. I felt lost and confused trying to fit in, when I was already in, but the enemy had me feeling I wasn't. I want you to know whether you have someone or not. The standard of the world's idealogy of love will never outlast the standards of GOD's love. Don't allow your singleness overtake you that you miss the moments of GOD's love, and don't allow your security in having a spouse make you forget your first love. Also I want you to know that if it hadn't been for yall loving me in those 5 years I would not be able to share this. Your love unknowingly saved me. So on today make sure you love on purpose. Spread the love. I know we should do this everyday, but take advantage of this day. Where the world is open to love and the idea of love and let someone know this doesn't have to be a one day out of the year moment, but a everyday moment. Love you  and thank you for loving me with purpose and tension.

Soul Detox

Daddy, I realize I'm going backward and not forward.  My flesh is out ruling my spirit because I've given into it daily. I've allowed myself to be overcome with thoughts of what my flesh wants and not what you want for me. My heart is heavy and filled with emotions I can't bare to carry or talk about. I feel so alone that I have reduced myself to the now fix, than the GOD fix. I've open doors you have shut and shut doors you have open; I've tainted them with my sinful nature just to numb the pain of the process. I 've lost hope, faith, and trust in you because it seems as though you keep working in my later when I need you in my now. I've kept silent far too long Daddy, trying to have the faith of your word. I feel lost and confused and you are the only one I can turn to. The world and country I live in is more divided as ever, and it feels like your victory is but a distant memory. What can I say or do to get you to move on my behalf? My tongues feel traditional, my heart empty, and my prayers muffled. My soul is in need of a dexto from You. I find myself screaming Your name, pleading for the blood to cover every guilty stain. I try to stay under the umbrella of your mercy and grace, but then I find myself being out of place. I want you Daddy and all you called me to be. But right now this assignment of being me seems too heavy for me. To be your standard, daughter, and bride. To be the one that never gets caught up in her pride. To be strong in your strength, operate in your gifts, and yield to your will; is not a stroll in the park. Daddy my soul needs the reminder of your love manifested in my now and interrupting my later. My soul needs the reminder of Your why. Why do you want me, why do you need me, and why don't you move in my timing? My soul needs your detox. The detox that clears my vision, restores my heart, guides me through the ups and downs, and shows me how to put me to the side. My soul needs the dexto of your joy, for you said in your word " I can find strength in it." You said it will be an exchange for my weakness. My soul needs your peace, for in it Your understanding will be released. I can see clearly now when your peace over takes me. Detox me Daddy for my soul is filled with thoughts of failure, fear, destruction, negativity, and hidden secrets. Remind me that your thoughts towards me are good, and so are the plans for my life. Remind me of the victorious victory of this fixed fight. DADDY DETOX ME!!! That my spirit man can be free in your liberty and my heart can show your love alone. DADDY DETOX ME!! So I won't become intoxicated with the instant gratification of this world, caught up in the politics of this nation, and overwhelmed by the words of men that state you can't and don't exist. DADDY DETOX ME!! That others connected to me can remember they are joint heirs of Christ, there is no lack in their lives, and you are the supplier of all their needs. DADDY DETOX ME!! That my husband can find me working for your kingdom, and serving your people. DADDY DETOX ME!! So I can have the faith to speak life to dead situations, see miracles, signs, and wonders. DADDY DETOX ME!! that my heart never feels the weight of disappointment. DADDY DETOX ME so I can be and look like your daughter again because right now I feel alone and abandoned. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME, so I can feel your presence every morning and every day. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME, because I don't know how much more my soul can take. DADDY DETOX ME so the enemy has no case against me. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME!!

In Jesus Name,

AMEN

New Beginning

Happy New Year Fellow Followers!!! I can't believe it will be 4 years this year since I started this blog. It started out as a process to enhance my counseling skills and ended up being the healing process to my heart. Daddy is so awesome!!! He will take your will and plan and some how in the process convert it to bring him glory!!

Well it's that time of the year again. The time we talk about the new beginnings of a new year. The time were we sit and think about what we want to accomplish, speak into the atmosphere, and just really press towards. I am super excited about 2016! I mean it's the year of the expectation of Daddy. I am really ready to see the promises of what Daddy's YES and AMEN looks like aren't you? Well with all this expectation and excitement can I talk to you about new beginnings and how to really look at 2016?

 As children of Daddy we forget three things when it comes to our new beginnings in a new year. These things are: Last year's lessons, Daddy will for us, and faith. Yep, these three things are things we forget to continue to incorporate in our new beginnings. Let's talk about he first one "Last year's lessons." I don't know about you but last year was the greatest lesson plan that I think Daddy could prepare for me. I lost my mother's side of the family with disconnect due to the death of my grandmother, had to move out of the house I lived in for 15 years into an apartment with my mother, lost my daddy's mother whom I was close with but never got the full closure I needed from her death, because my cousin got into an major accident on the way to funeral and I saw it all; and last I was in a major car accident in another state that left me with a totaled car. What lessons!?! Well let me tell you what I got from all of that which were great lessons for me to apply to 2016. Lesson 1. Never ever allow what you feel to predict your assignment. You are not your own, you are just a steward of the body you were given. This life you live is not about you and your glory, but about you completing the assignments that Daddy has give you the honor to carry out. Never allow how you feel to dictate how you respond to life and its situations no matter how much you feel it will bring productivity to the situation. Lesson 2. Have faith and stay faithful. Hum, I think I am about to cry about this lesson. Because it's hard to have faith when your integrity is being drugged through the mud by family, you have so many life changes going on that you don't know if you are coming or going, and you feel like you about to lose it, but you never do. But can I tell you if Daddy is faithful you can be faithful too. Because his track record in your life is greater than the moment of foolish and temporariness that is cause by others or yourself. Lesson 3. Always rest. I know this can be hard when you are looking for answers, solutions, and resolutions to life, but if you rest in the peace, love, and joy of GOD he will become your strength and the rest you thought you would never experience will be one that you desire more and more every day. Lesson 4. Change your vision. How you see things are not how things are actually seen. (that's deep I know). What you see in your face doesn't hold value to what Daddy is doing behind the scene. I am always reminded of the story where the prophet Elisha prayed that his servant's eyes be open during a time of war. And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. (2Kings 6:17) It wasn't until he prayed for the spiritual vision of his servant that he could see the true vision of victory. Always know that fight is rigged you win every time all you have to do is show up. Here is the final lesson. Lesson 5. Stand on the word of GOD. His words will not return to him without purpose. "so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it." (Isaiah 55:11)
So now you have the lessons you need to enjoy your new beginning apply them to your 2016 and watch Daddy do what he does best...manifest greatness!

Prayer: Daddy as we go into our new beginning help us to never forsake the lessons of our last year or the years before, let us always have the mentality of a student that seeks to learn more  and the characteristics of a child humble, but assured that there is nothing to big or hard for our daddy to do. Let us always remain in the place of faith, hope, and love, realizing that nothing is ever in our control only yours. Let us always speak life where death tries to rest, remaining assured that your word will not return to you void. But Daddy most importantly let us never take your grace and mercy for granted. Let us always be in the position were we realize tomorrow is never promise to us ; therefore, we will rest in today and allow you to take care of tomorrow as we complete what you have called us to and become great stewards of the the life you allow us to live, no matter what our expectations for it is.  In Jesus Name AMEN!

Proud

Dear Future Husband:

You know the saying behind every great man is a great woman? I don't believe that. I believe that beside every great man is a woman willing to help him with life's challenges, protect him when he is frustrated, speak life to him when he is feeling useless, and be what he needs when he feels the world is against him. I believe together they become great and their marriage blooms into a beautiful example of love. Now society thinks that this a myth, especially in the black community, but I think we can prove them wrong and make it a fact.

Fist up, fro high,

Your Queen