Hebrew Boys Faith

Listen I don't know about you, but the weight of waiting has been heavy on me lately. The wait of waiting on the unanswered prayers and deepest cries of my heart desires. I was talking to my mentor about how I was feeling and how the weight of waiting was turning into depression. I found myself paralyzed and lame in the thoughts of my wait. After telling me the feelings I felt were ok my mentor hit me with a question that hurt me and arrested me at the same time. She said "Shawndrika,  what if what you have been waiting on never manifest in the earth? Will you respond with the faith of the 3 Hebrew boys...Even if He doesn't do it we still know He can?" (Daniel 3:17-18) I looked at her crazy as tears fell from my eyes to know this statement of faith could be my reality. Though I felt broken at the thought of this reality, the Holy Spirit arrested me at the same time. He reminded me that when the 3 Hebrew boys made that statement it wasn't  from a place of doubt or hopelessness but, from a place of true surrendering. They were saying to Daddy even if we don't see you manifest the situation in our favor like we want you to, you will still come through and get the glory out of  our lives. That's the key...Daddy getting the glory!! What you are praying and waiting for may not manifest or come in the package you want, however, if you surrender it to Daddy...it will manifest His glory in your life and draw you closer to Him. I hope this word and revelation reminds you that the wait is worth it! Remember the weight is there for you to surrender not to hold.

Prayer: Daddy we thank you that even in our heaviest moments you wait for us to surrender that you may get the glory out of our lives. We yield to your will today as we wait for you to manifest your glory. We take heart that what we are waiting on may not come in the package we want or the time we think we want it, however, it will come on time and work in our favor. In Jesus Name. AMEN!

The Reality is....

This post is going to be really different because it will be comprise of several things (Dear Future Husband, Transparency, and Daddy Daughter Conversation) For the last three months I have really been in the position of student and learning. About six months ago I ask GOD to start preparing me and surrounding me with the things that a wife would have to face, because I was the position where I really desire the Man of GOD I was designed for. In that prayer I had the opportunity to experience "Wife Lessons." Let me tell you Wife lessons are hard. I mean patience and the ability to hear has been the biggest lesson and teacher during each lesson. I am overwhelm with the revelations that Daddy has given me through every teaching moment. But the biggest lesson came when I found myself in battle in my sleep in my room at night. (Here is me being Transparent) I would find myself fight demotic spirits and one looked like someone I knew. I contact someone I trust that had the spiritual wisdom that I needed to help me understand what was going on. In our conversation she told me that I needed to record every encounter, ask Daddy about it, and realize the pattern of when the attacks happen. Before she could tell me more.. I got the revelation of the why, when, and how they happen. She then told me to explore the root of those areas and when I tell you it didn't take me long to reveal the root. The root came from suppressed insecurity, abandonment, rejection, and giving  my body away. Because every demotic attack was a man. I was overwhelm when I realize that what I thought I was over was really a suppressed moment exposed through these attacks. I did any and everything to make sure that I look like I had it all together, even it meant acting like certain things didn't happen, but the reality is.... What I don't deal with in the natural got exposed in the spiritual and it gave the enemy the permission to come in and do whatever he wanted to do with me. So with all that being said I had to ask Daddy to help me recall every moment that I felt abandon, rejected, given myself away, and let me not forget unforgiveness too which lead to my insecurity. Last night I had to go into my walk in closet and make it my altar calling out everything that the Holy Spirit brought to my mind. From being divorced to being in the position of feel like the only thing that I had to offer a man was my body. I was put on the surgical table to be cut on. I asked for a clean heart and blood transfusion along with freedom. I had to remember that I have freedom in Daddy and there is no chain too strong that can't be broke by him. It's amazing how suppressed things will find themselves exposed no matter how much you try to keep them in. Because I was able to be place on the altar of sacrifices I now have begun to feel the freedom that Daddy promises us. It's awesome but it's just a piece of what I can have and I plan on having in all areas of my life. (Dear  Future Husband)

Dear Future Husband:

I realize that every time I fuss at you for your short comings I am actually frustrated with my own suppressed emotions. The ones that I feel if I present them to you, you will see me in a light that is unpleasing to you. That you will no longer see your priceless jewel, but see broken pieces of colored glass. But after laying on Daddy's altar and presenting my body on his surgical table, he cut me open and replace my heart with his and gave me a blood transfusion that cause me to regain joy and my place in him. No longer am I upset at my short comes and no longer am I striving towards perfection but excellence. I apologize for all the times I made you feel less than a man. I apologize for making you feel like you failed me. Know that there is nothing in this world that you can do to fail me unless you stop listening to Daddy. You are my rock, you are the natural representation of GOD's love towards me. You are his heart in the flesh. Thank you for always being so patient and forgiving. I realize that this nothing new for you, that you were prepared for this very moment because Daddy told you it was coming. But that doesn't meant that I can't correct my actions. I thank you for being so great and open with me every step up the way. Today as Daddy has open my heart I expose my all to you. I realize that this should have been done before now, but you knew that I would come to you sooner than later with all of my brokenness healed. Thank you for being my heart beat when I didn't see how to love you beyond my flaws. Thank you for being the covering that you were destine to be for me. The tears that I cry right now are not of hurt and frustration any more, but gratitude and joy. I am totally grateful that you know the value of us and me. That my price in your heart never devalues but continues to gain value. I love you so much.

With a healed heart,

Your Priceless Jewel

Prayer: Daddy this was the most difficult revelation about me that I have ever had to face in a while. To know that I was in a place of bondage thinking I was free. Daddy thank you for a husband who can pray for my brokenness and not walk away as though there is not hope. Thank you for a man who sees beyond my flaws and see my freedom. Father right now I expose my flaws, heart, and mind to you. Find all the areas of insecurities in my life and cover them in the blood and destroying them with your love. For you said in your word that I fearfully and wonderfully made in you. Daddy expose every areas of doubt that I have suppressed just to fake joy. You said that I should be anxious for nothing. That you have taken on every burden that I may experience your everlasting joy. Jesus you said that you came that I can have life and life more abundantly and I accept the abundance of  life today. Daddy take away the areas of rejection that I have kept a secrete for you said in your word that your plans for my life are good and perfect. That you knew me before I was even a thought in my mother's womb. Daddy make me whole again. You said that you are my healer, that in you I can find rest and refuge. Daddy right now I ask that every broken area and piece of me be whole in you. Thank you that the blood of your son Jesus make me new in you and your grace covers me daily. Daddy thank you for being my father. For loving me in spite of. I thank you that you will never allow anything to harm me. I bind up every attack, assignment, and ambush of the enemy that is in the works, working, and thinking about manifesting in the name of Jesus and with his blood I send them all to the pit of hell. I thank you father that ever witch, war lock, demotic spirit, or imp is bound in the the name of Jesus and sent to the pit of hell and every opening, window, door, gateway, foot hold, crack, and cranny that the enemy is trying to come through has been sealed with the blood of JESUS and that the freedom of you has been released. Thank you Daddy for freedom and the healing of self inflicted wounds. Daddy I rest in your freedom, I speak your joy, I represent your glory and I thank you for your peace. In JESUS NAME AMEN  

The Gift

Dear Future Husband:

There are times that I look at you and I  can't believe you are mines and I'm yours.  Your ability to make me feel valuable in the most valueless times gives me life.  There is nothing that I  can dream that you don't support.  Nothing I do that you don't prepare to be at.  Thank you for making your schedule flexible for me. The honor to wake in your presence daily reminds me of the Yes and Amen of God for my life.

In Awe of You,

Your Wife

The Title of Faith

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1 | NIV

 

What a verse right!!! I mean it seems so easy to understand and comprehend that it should cause us to act in faith daily right?!? Well let's look at the father of faith, the one who had so many descendants that he could not count them. The same man that had to wait 25 years just to see the promise of GOD to come true.  Let me back that up...25 years to wait on GOD, to manifest what he spoke !!! Let me give you the BCV (book, chapter, verse) on that In Genesis 12:1-4  The promise was given to Abraham in these verses were instructions on how to obtain this promise and what to do in his wait. Genesis 17:17, five chapters later, the promise is manifested and by this time Abraham is 100 years old.  So what do you do when you wait 25 years for a promise but by the time GOD manifest it you seem like you are unqualified for the promise you have been praying for? That's deep.. Let me simplify that for you so you can get the revelation that I got. Abraham prayed to Daddy for a son, he believe and Daddy said to him I heard you and you will get that and more. You got that part? Ok So He waits 25 years for the YES to manifest from Daddy and after the Yes is manifested Abraham says to Daddy  I am no longer qualified for the prayer I prayed or even ready for the promise...

WOW!!! I am sorry if I lose it for a minute, but how many times have you told Daddy you are not ready for the one thing you have been praying for. You have spoke it in faith for the first five years of your prayer life but after years of speaking you give up and when it comes to pass you find yourself feeling unequipped for the blessing or the manifestation. WOW!!! That blows my mind because  we seek to want the blessings and the promises of GOD but we never want to be in the place of waiting.

So what is faith for real? Let's take the scripture that I started the post with and break it down with the revelation that we get from the story of Abraham's wait. So Hebrews 11:1 says: Now faith is. Let's stop there. From these three words we can learn that faith is a very present thing that happen constantly. That means that faith has no expiration date. It means that faith is use today, yesterday, and forever more. Now, to the next part of that scripture... confidence in what we hope for Whew!! I think I am about to blow my own mind. In order to have faith you must have confidence not in the act of faith, but in  pursuit of faith as well as the Yes of GOD.  Let me make that clear for you... It simply means... I must have confidence that when I speak it in the present then my today, yesterday, and tomorrow will always be prepared for  manifestation of it even if I have to wait for it.... Now that's deep. Let's look at the last part of the scripture.... and assurance about what we do not see. Ok so if you are like me you like to see the things of GOD, and not just the words of GOD. .. It's the error of our human nature right?!? Well in order to have true faith you must be assured about what we do not see.. this simply means that we must be in the position where we know what we have faith in is in line with what GOD has already said. So in summary faith is speaking back to Daddy what he has spoke to us with confidence and assurance that His word shall never return to him void no matter how long we have to wait for it.

Prayer: Daddy thank you for the ability to have faith, exercise it, and pursue it with the heart of confidence not in us but in you. We love you Daddy and there is nothing like you. We seek to be your daughters and sons of faith yielding to the promises you have for us and learning the benefits of waiting. In Jesus Name Amen!