Session 2 The Past: To deal, To forgive, Move on, To heal

The past can really be the biggest issues of who we are, how function, and how we see things in the future. I mean think about it. Our past turns us from virgins to experienced people; from lovers to haters; and my favorite from those who gives everyone a fair chance to the person that compares everyone to the last bad experience and the person they had it with. Our past can powerful or powerless, but the level of power is up to us. This weekend I dealt with my past. I mean a part of my past that I never dealt, just let go off. This past had some good moments, but mostly bad ones. This past was called "ex." Yeah we all have them ex friends, ex lovers, ex crushes, ex boyfriend/girlfriends, and ex whatever... Well mines were ex boyfriend and ex sex partner. The worst thing to run into when you are trying to make a current relationship work. Running into an ex boyfriend/girlfriend will cause you to second guess you, because they know you, they know the power and titles they use to have. They know how to play on your weak points especially if sex was involved. Exes like that can say one thing that will cause you to flashback and rethink why you all are not together. Now with that one trigger, you seating there sad, disappointed, and asking yourself questions you know the answers to. Questions like: why aren't we together? Why wasn't I good enough? What did I do? These questions lead to emotions that can cause doubt, depression, uncomfortable, and second guessing whose you are. Exes are powerful as you can see; but I realized in dealing with them that they are only as powerful as I or you make them. So back to my weekend. I had the pleasure (yeah, I said pleasure.. being funny actually) to speak with an ex who say he was texting because I had been heavy on his heart and mind. I was so heavy on his mind that he found me on twitter since I am no longer on facebook. I got two messages, I need to talk to you and call me. I called him just to see what was going on and when I did something came over me. I me something I never felt before when it came to this ex. (Brief histroy about this ex: he lied, it hurt, he tried to make up with truth, it was too late, tried it again to prove a point, point prove, and just now in the place of forgiveness. Hope that was brief enough) Any way this ex had really did some damage and though "I thought" I had forgave and forgotten, something in my present marriage told and said other wise. That's why I was so glad GOD and I was in a place that he was healing this area when he contacted me should I say when I contacted him. Though he asked me many questions I was able to answer them and tell him how I truly felt about our relationship and him. After that I was able to truly let go. No looking back, no "I should have said that," and no thinking why aren't we married? As far has the ex sex partner, I spoke and laugh. I realized I was foolish, young, and daring when did and, I am older, wiser, and over it now and so is he. So we hugged, laughed, did some community service, and moved on. I shared all this to say, there is so much you can do with your past, You can live in it as your present, dwell in it as your failure, deal with it selectively, or forgive it, move forward, and realize that the hurt from it is healed.  So whatever you choose know that the health choice is that to forgive, heal, and realize healing will be more productive than trying to figure out the why, how, what, and where of your past you can return to in order to not feel the aftermath of it in your present. Everything is necessary, yes even your past and the people in it.