I Can't Handle This!!!

Daddy on yesterday I got news that a friend that I love dearly was diagnosed with cancer. Daddy he is only in his 30's and so young and active. I just saw him two months ago and though he wasn't in his great happy moods he was in a good one. Daddy this is the fourth friend I have battling a disease that can cause them to die. I can't handle this. Seeing my friends how are my age struggling with illness they didn't even ask for. I can't handle the hospital visits any more or wondering will I be receiving the phone call that one of my friends has joined you in the heavenly sky. I can't Daddy!!! I Can't!!! Daughter... Daughter calm down. I hear your heart and not just your I can't! I understand that to see someone you love suffer in such a painful way with life schedule around drug dosage is hard for you. To know that they have to be in the hospital for long periods of times, or even in and out of the hospital for long periods of time is hard for you. To visit them and see the tubes, needles, vital signs, and lack of energy they have and weakness they display. I hate when my children have sick love ones. I do and I hate it worse when they pray for total healing and I take the love with me, and they are mad, angry, disappointed, and create a harden heart for me. I am. But here is what I need you to know this season for your friends is to build their faith and in me. To trust me. To let me do me! This season for you is the same. I know it hurts that I don't dismiss. But I told you in my word that you have the power to do greater works that my son did while he was there on earth. Now healing will not always take form the way you picture it. Sometimes my healing is to give them total rest in me. That means taking them from the earth and placing them in my presence permanently. Other times it means healing them right then and there to show someone that is by them that I am real. This is not about you or them. This is about me and in the end I will get the glory. I know that sounds selfish, but it's not daughter trust me. I do things that your mind will never understand. My plans always work out perfect even if you don't see the perfection of them. So start planning for the victory, shout for the healing, for I am about to manifest greatness in the mist of pain. I will create peace, in the mist of grief, and I will love you  and them through it. You are my Daughter what concerns your heart concerns me. I know that this is not easy for you and you feel you can't handle this, but daughter you can. I will NEVER put to much on you that I have not already prepared you to bear. I know you don't believe right now but I have equipped you for this moment. So daughter know this do you still think you can't handle this? Daddy, I am still a little shakey and I hear what you are saying. I know you have ever failed me and there is nothing to hard for you. I know that you delight in my heart desires. That you are a GOD of love, and you only want the best for your children and that your plan is perfect... But to see them go through hurts. Well Daughter don't hurt their going through is building them for my perfect plan. .... Daddy can you change my eyesight then? Because all I see is the pain for their illness. ... Yes daughter, for you I will do any thing. When I change your eyesight you will see the healing that will manifest. Don't look the outside. Look at what I am doing in the inside. See your flesh want's flesh manifested healing, well that's not true healing.Total healing comes when I am able to heal you from the inside out. If I heal your flesh and never your heart, you will end up back where you start. So daughter know that as you pray for your friends, like I know you will... for their healing... and total restoration....Know that I am healing them from the inside out...Know that total restoration is not allowing them to remain here on earth, but allowing them to rest in my arms. So when that day comes... and it will... Know that I will and would have prepared you for it. I love you daughter I will await your.... I can handle this!!! Because you can handle this, this is not big, this is just a season of trusting me more and focusing on who I am not what I can do. I love you daughter! I love you too Daddy.... I will be waiting... Ok