The Passion of Past

Hi! I know that I have not blogged in a minute and  I have no excuse. I have really been dealing with my past lately and I don't know why. Have you ever been a place where you feel like you are truly over it. I mean truly... like nothing about a past issues can cause you to react? Have you been in a place were you saw the people that hurt you or heard their voice and you feel like that situation is right there in your face again? But in your mind you thinking I should be over this, this shouldn't effect me like this... Or maybe you think you are beyond this and and that you need to check yourself... Well.. That's me... About three weeks ago I did something that I thought would be the hardest decision in my life. I mean it was a real heart decision. To some people reading this it may be so minuet. But here goes.. I change my phone number.. Yep I did it.. I know some people are like girl that's it.. that was a heart decision for you? Girl I do that at least three to four times a year, just to clean myself of stupid, unproductive, and negative people I have allowed in my life.... But maybe there are others that feel me.. that know that changing your number is beyond a number change. That it is a life changing decision, cause in the end you are saying good-bye to people that meant you no good, but you invest your life in. That you have to realize that you had some uneducated moments when it came to certain relationships and having with certain people. That you realized that you were driven by the passion of your past. A past that held you tight due to one device.. your phone. Your phone gave people access to your heart, your life, and your energy. You allowing others to have your phone number  told them, call me, let me be your trash can, let me take your negativity, even though I got my own issues. Your phone number may not seem so valuable at first, but once you give people access to it, you will start to see how that one number create a character change in your. Hum.. Powerful huh?!? A Number that give people access to parts of you that you never thought of. Well once I change my number I saw the effects of allowing people have it. I am now wise on who I give it to, because I am aware of the consequences of letting them have it. I realize that if the wrong person posses it, it can cause a passion of your past to rise up.


Prayer: Lord teach me how to love the ones that hurt me, to forgive the ones that offend me to pursue peace when I’m pissed; to move beyond the moment into the lifetime. Help me father to remember it’s not about me, but your kingdom. Help me to stop making temporary permanent, and please help me find words of wisdom, compassion, and understanding to give to the ones that refuse to hear my heart. Father create the atmosphere to rebuild the relationships I destroyed and rebuild me from relationships that destroyed me. Open my eyes to what you are showing me and let me not take this assignment in vain. Give me your presence that I may move at your pace; and father when I become impatient with the present task, can you remind me of the future promises you have for me. Cover me father from my own ignorance and allow me to not be blinded by my own thoughts. Let me focus on your voice, walk in your faith, trust you at your word, and hold fast to your presence with the power of your love. Father I’m an available vessel waiting on your instructions and though I have a couple of cracks and there are places that I still don’t want to explore about me, hold my hand and remind me that you can use anything and any one all we have to do is surrender to your will.